Instantly in Love
by haleigh91
Summary: Captain Swan AU. Emma Swan is the co-owner and manager of a popular bar in New York where her star bartender is the cocky Killian Jones. In their public lives, they hate each other. Little do they know that in their personal, online lives, the person that they've been chatting with for weeks (the one they've so desperately somehow fallen for) just so happen to be each other.
1. Chapter 1

Emma groaned as her forehead met the cool wood of the table, her eyes darting away from the infuriating man at the end of the bar. The lilt of his accent (English, maybe? She never quite figured it out) rising above the cheers of the local New York men as they crammed into the joint to watch another night of football – Giants versus Saints. Sundays were always her biggest night of the week during football season and she intentionally made sure that her employees knew that – to keep up with the crowd and not be distracted. Killian Jones, however, was another story.

Flashing the drunk brunette in front of him a brilliant white smile, Emma watched him slide another beer to the girl, secretly mouthing "on the house" as his right eye quickly shut and opened in a sexy wink that kept bringing them back.

Emma's blood boiled as she watched him hopelessly flirt with the girl, who was way beyond tipsy at this point, her arms waving wildly spilling half of her beer on the customers seated next to her. Killian laughed, deep and throaty, before pulling the rag off of his shoulder to wipe the bar down.

He knew the rules: no free drinks to anyone under any circumstances. And as much as she wanted to avoid him (being the boss definitely had it's cons), Emma knew that she had to approach him. Inhaling through her nose and out through her mouth – her go to in times of trouble and anxiety – she stood up from the end of the bar, adjusted her dress (a sexy red that complimented her wavy blonde hair. Hey, you've gotta attract men into your bar somehow), and sauntered over to the dashing, yet so infuriating, man.

"Swan," Killian beamed, as he turned his attention to his beautiful boss, throwing the bar rag back over his shoulder as his other arm leaned against the cool countertop of the bar. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Cut the crap, Killian," she hissed, seething with anger, his brilliant smile turning into his normal smirk, raising an eyebrow at the fuming blonde. "I know you just gave that woman a free drink."

Killian took a step forward, invading Emma's personal space, as he towered over her. He could see her breath hitch in her throat at his close proximity. Emma hated him, and he knew it too. Killian just loved to see how far he could take it with her, constantly pushing her, knowing that one day she was bound to erupt.

And to be completely honest, he didn't care for her either. But Killian was a man with needs, who just so happened to be a hopeless flirt, and whenever a beautiful woman such as Emma approached him, Killian couldn't help but seep with innuendos.

"Oh. Jealous, love?" he shot back, winking quickly at his boss.

"You wish, Jones," she fired back, pushing against his chest to put some distance between them. Even through the physical contact, Emma managed to keep a straight face. The radiating sexual tension between the two was almost always unbearable. But then Killian would open his mouth and Emma would recall when she loathed the man so much.

"Just get back to work. And don't think I'm taking my eyes off of you for a second," she challenged, turning on one heel to walk away before he lightly grabbed her forearm, tugging her back so that her back collided with his warm, solid chest.

Leaning over her shoulder, his lips treaded dangerously close to her ear, breathing rhythmically against the red tinge of her cheeks. "I would despair if you did."

Catching her breath, Emma huffed angrily, rolled her eyes and stormed off away from the bar. From behind her she heard his casual laugh, as if he knew he had won the round. But this time, she chose to ignore it. He wasn't worth it.

Making her way towards her office, Emma eyed the rowdy crowd, the tipsy men shaking their fists in the air and shouting violently as Manning through an interception on the flat screen TV mounted on the wall. The mass would soon settle down, as the fourth quarter was drawing to a close, Giants loosing once again. It's a wonder she even had a crowd, as pitiful as their team was doing this season.

But when she scanned the throng again, she suddenly realized that there were probably more woman in the crowd than men tonight. And their eyes were certainly not focused on the game. Right. Killian.

Every time she asked herself why she even hired that infuriating man in the first place, Emma is remained of David, her close friend and co-owner of the bar. A few months ago the business had started going under after their main bartender quit to move to Texas with his girlfriend. David and Emma interviewed hundreds of candidates and no one fit the bill. Too old. Too violent. Too strange. Not enough experience.

And then came Killian Jones. Emma swears that David fell in love with the man the second he strut through their door, his messy dark hair side swept, bright blue eyes piercing the room. It looked as if he had stepped straight out of a magazine. And the part that Emma hated most is that he knew it.

He was perfect for the position, or at least, that's what David had argued. With the business in the slumps, Killian was just the key to bringing girls in by the boatload. And it was even better that Killian didn't mind them exploiting his sexiness. With his cocky attitude and smug smirk, Emma always tried her best to avoid him: managing on different nights and forcing David to run the bar whenever Killian was scheduled.

Emma shook her head, trying to throw out all thoughts of him for the night. The hours were drawing to a close and she was more than ready to go home. _One more hour,_ she told herself internally.

The blonde was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts, however, when she saw her best friend/roommate (and best waitress) Ruby approaching her. Emma couldn't help but giggle at her roommate's ridiculous outfit, the low neckline white top cropped short exposing her flat belly, her red skirt barely covering her most private of parts.

The scandalous uniforms were Killian's idea. _Just another way to draw in the crowd, love,_ he had suggested, adding in his signature wink. As much as she had hated the idea, it really drew in the men. Between Killian's good looks and the wild waitress outfits, the place had never looked better. Add in Sunday night football and you've got the best bar on this side of New York.

"Emma!" Ruby squealed at the blonde, playfully bumping her hip into Emma's to catch her attention. "Great night, huh?"

"The best I've seen in a while, Ruby," Emma smiled, all thoughts of Killian vanishing from her mind. "If we keep this up, David and I will finally be out of the debt we got ourselves into when we bought this bar back in college."

Emma gave a quiet laugh as she crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the back wall, scanning the best crowd she's ever seen in her bar. Emma continued, a smile appearing on her face as she watch Mary-Margaret running from table to table, refilling cups as the drunk men sloshed their everywhere. "And with David and Mary-Margaret now expecting a baby in eight months, he's definitely going to need all the extra money he can get."

"Oh by the way," Ruby exclaimed excitedly, the mention of Mary-Margaret reminding her of her purpose of approaching Emma in the first place. "Mary-Margaret and I are having a girls night tonight. Pizza and chick flicks. Want to join?"

Emma sighed in defeat. "I'd love to but unfortunately I have plans later."

Ruby raised an eyebrow, her hands going to her hips and a knowing smirk appeared on her face. "You have a cyber date with Mr. Pirate again don't you."

Emma's jaw dropped in mock shock. "No, of course not!" she stuttered, flustered, but quickly adding, "I don't even know what you're talking about."

Giving her best friend a light punch on the arm, Ruby shot back, "Oh come on, Emma. You've been avoiding girl's night for weeks now. Opting instead to spend the night with your laptop, talking to Mr. Dreamboat."

"Ruby, keep your voice down," Emma hissed as she pulled on her best friends arm, ushering her into her office. "People will hear you."

"Well I don't blame you for wanting to keep it a secret, Ems. You know, having a cyber relationship instead of a real one," Ruby mocked, playfully rolling her eyes at Emma as she plopped down in the nearby armchair, Emma icily eying her, after which Ruby quickly added, "I'm on my fifteen minute break. So talk."

For the past month, Emma had been sneaking off and keeping her private life very hidden as she had met _him_ - the man of her dreams. They met in an online chat group for local New Yorkers and had talked every night since, the majority of the time into the wee hours of the morning. The pair had talked of everything and nothing in particular, both avoiding giving out personal information in hopes of moving too fast. But more than anything, Emma was scared to meet him. Scared that he was real but also scared that he wouldn't be. She was in too deep, her hopes now too high. And with both of them living in New York, there was always a chance that they had a previous encounter, even in a city of millions.

"There's nothing to talk about, Ruby," Emma sighed, sitting down in her swivel chair, her sore feet going to prop on top of her desk as the rest of her body deflated from exhaustion. "We just casually talk once in a while. That's it. Nothing more."

"Mmhm," Ruby hummed, slowly getting up from her chair and heading towards the door to continue working as the night drew to a close. "Well whenever you do want to talk about him, you know where to find me."

Emma sighed, her forehead finding the cool wood of the desk as she pounded her fist on the table. Within the hour, the bar quickly cleared out, the Giants loosing their game, the angry men wondering out into the streets to probably cause some kind of riot. Once her employees had left, thank god she was able to avoiding running into Killian again, she flicked the lights off and locked the door, hailing a taxi to take her back to her apartment.

Unlocking the door, she flicked the lights on of her quiet apartment, reaching down to slip her heels off, rubbing her sore feet in the process. Carrying the strappy sandals in her hands, Emma walked towards her bedroom, thankful for the quiet night ahead. Emma loved her roommate so much, but sometimes she was glad to have a peaceful night at home alone. Especially when she was thinking about _him_.

As she entered her bedroom, Emma's eyes darted to her bright computer screen, the box blinking and flashing with excitement. She felt the butterflies begin to swirl inside her stomach in anticipation, much like every time she thought of him. When she reached the screen, her eyes danced across the words, a huge smile instantly appearing on her face.

_pirate300: So how is my Princess doing tonight?_

Excitement burst from within, her eyes darting to the little green dot next to his screen name, letting her know that he was online and waiting for her to respond. And, just like always, she didn't care how tired she was at the time; Emma would never keep him waiting.

_princess28: Super tired from work. How about you, pirate? ;)_

Rubbing her hands together in anticipation, Emma watched the screen, anxiously waiting for his reply, to see if he had already abandoned her (because it's been no telling how long he had already been sitting there waiting for her).

_pirate300 is typing_

Her heart soared and gut twisted in knots. She had no idea how she could feel this deeply for someone that she's never even met.

_pirate300: Same here, darling. Had to deal with my annoying boss again though._

_princess28: Hey now, I'm a boss too remember? ;) Wouldn't want to think that my employees hate me as much as you dislike your boss. But don't worry about her though. _

_pirate300: The only thing that got me through the night was knowing that you'd be here at the end of the day._

Emma blushed. She couldn't help but feel like a giddy schoolgirl when she talked to him.

_princess28: You're too kind, pirate. Unfortunately, it's getting late and I've got a full day of work tomorrow. I should probably get some sleep :'(_

_pirate300: As do I, m'lady. Tomorrow night again? ;)_

_princess28: Always._

_pirate300: Goodnight, love. Sweet dreams._

Leaning back in her desk chair, Emma sighed, squeezing her eyes shut, her smile growing larger across her face. One day she would have to face the facts: either meet this man of her dreams and risk the best thing that's ever happened to her or let him go. But for tonight, she ignored this impending decision and basked in the happiness that he brought her.

Elsewhere, a few miles down the road, a messy haired "pirate" shut his laptop closed, grinning as he thought of his beautiful cyber princess. The one that he yearned so much to meet. One day he would convince her.

_Yes_, Killian Jones thought to himself. _One day._


	2. Chapter 2

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Emma groggily groaned as she reached out for the alarm clock, slapping wildly in an attempt to shut the irritating thing off. Squinting her eyes, she looked at the clock through the haze of sleep still upon her.

8:15

_Ugh_, Emma fought with herself internally. You would think that having a bar would mean only working nights. But she quickly learned that she was oh-so wrong. There were always bills to be paid, paperwork to fill out, employees to pay, and supplies to be ordered. Another unfortunate disadvantage of being the boss.

Snuggling deeper into the covers, Emma tried to convince herself to sleep in, take the day off. After all, Killian would be working today. She shuttered at the thought, cursing David for taking a long fishing weekend with the boys. Emma felt herself approaching that hazy mountain, the one you get to before finally slipping off to sleep, when she heard her phone vibrate on the nightstand next to her.

Sighing, she blindly reached onto the table in search of her phone. Grabbing it, she had to allow herself a minute to adjust to the bright screen, the sleep latching tight, not wanting to let go of her. When her eyes took a glimpse of the screen it felt as if a cage of butterflies had been released into her stomach, dancing around madly. It was _him_.

_pirate300: Good morning, beautiful. I hope your day is as amazing as you are._

The blonde wasn't sure why she blushed at the compliment (it's not as if he could see her – but she was still ever so glad that they had finally set up the chat on her phone too). But the whole exchange was a little out of the ordinary for him. Usually the two only conversed at night after work. This was the first time he had approached her otherwise. It gave her a strange sense. And unfortunately, for someone as guarded as Emma, it was good.

_princess28: Well good morning to you too :) This was unexpected. Although I'm not complaining!_

_pirate300: I woke up thinking of you. And I knew that I would not be able to survive the impending day of hell at work without talking to you first. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you…and that I'm looking forward to tonight._

_princess28: As am I, pirate. But unfortunately, a day of work must come first. So I'll talk to you later?_

_pirate300: Of course, darling. _

_princess28: By the way, you've never even seen me. Yet you called me beautiful. Care to explain?_

_pirate300: My love, if you are anywhere near as beautiful as you are captivating to converse with, then no one will be able to compare. A true princess indeed. Pink lips, fair skin, hair of…..wait, what color is your hair?_

_princess28: Wouldn't you like to know? ;)_

_pirate300: Perhaps I would…_

_princess28: Maybe another time. No personal information, remember?_

_pirate300: Of course :'( Well, until tonight, my dear. Have a wonderful day!_

_princess28: You too. Oh and pirate?_

_pirate300: Yes?_

_princess28: It's blonde._

Killian beamed as he sat down his phone on the table, silently sipping his coffee and humming to himself. Blonde. Of course. He could already imagine those golden curls, bouncing as she laughing, blowing in the gentle spring wind, splayed out on the pillow as she writhed under him, hands clutching satin sheets.

She was like a drug. A stunning, intoxicating drug that he could not get enough of – his beautiful addiction, consuming him completely, making him dizzy with lust and want. He woke up with only thoughts of her and it was slowly beginning to drive him insane. Killian knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer. He _had_ to see her. _And tonight_, Killian promised himself, _tonight he was going to convince her of it._

But first, he internally cursed, he would have to deal with the blonde devil at work. Oh yeah, this was definitely going to be a long day. The only consuming thought that would get him through the day was the image of a golden angel, awaiting him at the end of the day with open arms.

* * *

Emma shifted the papers around on her desk, giving every page another glance to make sure she had signed them all before handing them over to her employee. After finally forcing herself out of bed, Emma had made it to the bar around lunch, knowing that it would open in a few hours, and she had a massive amount of work to accomplish before then.

Her emerald eyes darted up when there was a soft knock on her open door, Mary-Margaret standing there, smiling her usual maternal grin. Looking her up and down, Emma noticed her wearing the normal scandalous waitressing outfit and made a mental note to change it later for her; can't have a pregnant woman walking around exposing herself, can we?

"Mary-Margaret," Emma exclaimed, rising from her seat to hug her friend, "how are you?"

Releasing Emma from the hug, she gently ran her hand across her, for now, flat stomach. "Doing well. Just trying to get used to all of these changes ahead," she laughed. "We really missed you last night, Emma. Girls night is never the same without you."

"I know," Emma pouted sympathetically. Although it might not seem like it, she really did hate skipping out on girl's night. But ever since David and Mary-Margaret got married (and consequently expecting a baby) and Ruby started seeing Victor, their weekly girls nights had started becoming more infrequent. Which pained Emma even more to skip it. "I had plans that I couldn't get out of though," she half-lied, forcing a slight grimace across her pretty face.

"Oh yes. Ruby told me all about your super secret pirate lover."

Oh god. Could Ruby ever keep her big mouth shut? Emma sighed in defeat, arms going across her chest defensively. "He's not my lover. We just talk. I've never even met the guy. I don't even know his name for Christ's sake!"

"Calm down there, big girl," Mary-Margaret joked playfully. "I was just teasing you. I think it's sweet. I can tell how much he means to you. Have you ever thought about meeting him?"

Emma backed her head up against the wall, letting it hit the brick, not caring about the sharp pain that accompanied it. "Too many times to count," she admitted with a whisper.

Mary-Margaret approached her, laying a soft hand upon her shoulder. "So what's holding you back? Is it him?"

"No," Emma exclaimed a little too loudly, before adding with a soft whisper, "It's me."

Mary-Margaret blinked her eyes in confusion, cocking her head to the side in question, urging her friend to continue.

"I'm scared. I'm afraid that if I do meet him, he won't be what I expected."

"I see," the dark-haired girl replied, nodding her head in confirmation, before heading to the door to get back to work. "But are you really scared that he won't be what you expected? Or are you more afraid that he will be?"

And with that she was gone. In a frustrated state, Emma hit her fist against the wall she was leaning against. This day really was going to be hell. Emma wasn't used to opening up to people, to letting them know her true feelings – even her best friends. The only person she had ever been open and honest with was her chat partner, the pirate. Her walls were always up around everyone, except him, who had somehow managed to evade them.

The buzzing of her cell phone in her pocket pulled her out of her distressed thoughts. Digging it out of the pocket of her skinny jeans, she glanced down at the ID – David. _Just perfect_, she thought to herself. David only called on his day off when either something was wrong or he had an extra job for her to do while he was away.

"Hey, David. What's up?" she answered, putting on her strongest voice, not wanting the overprotective man (who might as well be her big brother) know that she was about to crumble.

"Ems!" he happily exclaimed. "How's everything going at the bar?"

Emma let out something between a sigh and a chuckle as she pushed herself off the wall to sit behind her spacious desk. "You've only been gone a day and a half and you think that I've let it fall apart already?"

From the other end of the line she heard David laugh lightheartedly. "I was just checking on you, okay?"

"Mmhm," Emma smirked. "What did you really call for?"

She heard David sigh, pausing before continuing. "Actually, there is something."

Emma rolled her eyes, even though she knew that he wouldn't be able to see her. "Of course."

"I need you to do Employee of the Month for me."

Emma let an unexpected sharp gasp escape her mouth. "No. Seriously, David. Can't it wait until you get back?" she groaned, her forehead meeting the desk as she pounded her fist once again. This was beginning to become a common occurrence it seemed like.

"It's not a big deal, Ems. I've already made the decision and written the speech. All you need to do is make the announcement. It's the last day of the month. They all expect it by now. You can't let them down," David simply explained, as if this would be the easiest thing in the world.

"Fine," Emma easily complied with a pointed tone and groan.

"Thank you so much! The speech and photo are in the second drawer on the left of the desk," David instructed with caution, biting his tongue in anticipation, waiting for her explosive response. From the other end of the line he heard the drawer opening, the rustling of paper, and then a groan, some expletives slipping off her tongue.

"No. No. HELL NO," Emma yelled, trying her best to watch her tone, ever so grateful that her office door had been shut behind Mary-Margaret.

"Oh come on, Emma. He really deserves it."

Killian. Of course. It HAD to be him.

When David had come up with the idea to do an employee of the month, Emma had thought it was a fantastic idea. The intent to raise the moral of the employees; it sort of became a monthly competition, the spirited and lively employees battling it out, making bets, keeping tabs on who was in the lead, and cheering when their favorites won.

It really was a great plan. Emma loved the idea, only on one condition though. She made David promise that she would never have to pick the winner. And David always reminded her of it whenever she disagreed with his decision, often quoting her: "I love all of our employees equally. There is no way I could pick one over the other. It's like asking a mother to choose her favorite child!"

And Killian was most definitely her least favorite "child".

"David," she whined, feeling a bit lightheaded from the blood rush of irritation and anxiety.

"Emma," he began with a stern tone from the other side of the phone. "It's not a big deal. Just do it before opening tonight and get it over with. He has done better than anyone else this month. Just don't _completely_ bash him in the process."

Emma grit her teeth together, so hard that she thought they might break right there. "Fine," she spat icily, her head shooting up too quickly to glance at the clock on the wall. "But you owe me, Nolan."

"Of course!" he chuckled, incoherently yelling something to someone in the background. "Well I need to go. Good luck, Emma. See you when I get back!"

The line went dead before she could even respond. Groaning, she grabbed the speech and framed photograph before heading out into the bar.

_Let's just get this over with,_ she internally told herself, gripping the paper so hard that it started to crumple up. Pulling the frame up, she looked at the picture: Killian Jones in all his sexy glory, smirk upon his handsome face. Smug bastard. Smoothing the paper out to read the speech – that stupid, praising speech – she silently cursed David.

Positioning her fingers against her lips in the right position, she let out a shrill whistle, all the employees immediately stopping what they were doing to glance around the room. And when they all realized what day of the month it was and that Emma was standing near the coveted wall where the employee with recognized with a speech and framed portrait, the mass quickly gathered in anticipation.

"As you all know, today is the last day of the month, which means it is time to announce our Employee of the Month. Normally David does the honors, but seeing as he is away for the weekend, I will be taking his place."

Nervously eyeing the crowd, Emma cleared her throat before continuing.

"This month, we want to give credit to someone who has helped this bar in more ways than one. Between bringing about new ideas and knowing how to draw in a large crowd, this employee really goes above and beyond," Emma spat out the words she read, the taste bitter on her tongue as she continued the prepared speech. "This person has not been working here very long, but has already received the honor many times. It just goes to show how much we appreciate his work."

Lifting her gaze from the written speech, Emma's eyes instantly locked on Killian, his cerulean orbs lit up, arms crossed across his chest in a proud manner, a smug smirk dancing across his face. The conceited jerk already knew that he had won, which just made the remaining words that much more distasteful to get out.

"We are very proud of what he does to continually make this bar a better place. So, I would like to announce our Employee of the Month, Killian Jones."

Emma kept her eyes on the paper as the crowd erupted in cheers and applause. She was sure that he was being mobbed with hugs and congratulations. Apparently, everyone loved him as much as David did. Reaching down, and continuing to avoid eye contact, she grabbed the framed portrait and hung it on the wall, Killian's proud face smiling back at her. He had absolutely no idea how much she hated him.

When she finally torn her eyes away from the portrait, the crowd beginning to die down, Emma turned around to face her employees. What she didn't expect to be was nose to nose with none other than the Employee of the Month himself.

"Well, well, well, Miss Swan," he greeted in a smooth voice, clicking his tongue with each sharp word, obscenely pushing his chest forward, their faces just a breath lengths apart. Killian took advantage of the situation to flirtatiously brush a strand of hair off her shoulder, his fingers accidentally coming in contact with her bare skin in the process, his fingers leaving burn marks with every move he made. And as much as she hated him, her body definitely didn't, shuttering in pleasure under his touch. "It seems as if someone has changed their opinion of me. Does this mean that you don't hate me anymore?"

"In your dreams, Jones," she retorted in a shakier breath than she intended. Emma had to quickly remind herself that she was the one in power here, not him.

Leaning closer, with his nose now rubbing against hers, he chuckled as Emma let out a shaky breath. "Always, Swan," he quickly promised, suggestively running his tongue against his bottom lip.

For a few moments, their breaths intermixed, eyes locked, and Emma completely forgot how much she hated him. The chemistry between the two was electric, something neither could refute. What was this power that he had over her? No matter how much she disliked him, and he for her, there was no denying that even she was not immune to his irresistible charms.

When Killian's mouth finally hovered close to hers, Emma's eyes widened, suddenly realizing what was happening. Here they were, standing in the midst of her bar, employees bustling around them, and he was about to kiss her. Enraged, Emma pushed hard against his chest, sending him stumbling back a few feet, as he chuckled madly.

"Well, my dear," he laughed as he caught his breath, hands going to his knees. "I had no idea I had that kind of power over you. I will definitely have to remember this for another time. You actually almost let me kiss you. Of course, I wouldn't have," he admitted with poison, eyes turning darker than they were even a few mere seconds ago, his laughter dying down. "Why would I?"

Confidence suddenly overcoming her (she was never one for employee confrontations – she usually left that job up to David), she stepped closer to him, maintaining straight posture so that they were eye level (thank god for heels), letting him know that she still had the control in the situation.

"Listen here, Jones," she spat with fire, both of her hands immediately going to rest on her slender hips. "I am the one in charge here. And you seem to be forgetting that. Forget it again and you just may be searching for another job. Got it?"

Killian smirked as he watched her turn on her heels, blonde hair bouncing with each step, hips tantalizingly swinging back and forth, eyes never leaving her backside. "Yes, ma'am," he conceded, clearly enjoying the view.

As Killian watched the blonde seductress walk away from him, and inwardly cursed her, he glanced down at his watch. The bar would be opening in another hour. Only a few more hours to decide how he was going to convince _her_ to finally meet him. Glancing back up at Emma, the blonde curls reminding him of his princess, he silently prayed that his online lover was nothing like his devil boss.

If only he knew.


	3. Chapter 3

The evening proceeded as excruciatingly slow as it had started, considering it was a weeknight. The crowd was decent, an average for a cold January night, the fluffy snow blanketing the city in a beautiful white sheet, glistening in the moonlight. Killian glanced down at his watch before extending his arm to hail a cab, ungracefully climbing into the back seat with a loud plop.

He slammed the door behind him, telling the driver his address, before hearing a feminine shout from outside the door, an incessant knocking rapping against the fogged window. Pushing the door open, Killian was greeted with none other than Emma Swan. Both of their faces fell at the sight of each other, Killian instantly praying that she'd wait for another cab.

"Swan," he began in a hard tone, giving her the impression that he was less than excited for her untimely appearance.

"Normally, I'd rather wait in the downpour of snow than share a cab with you," she icily snapped as a few snowflakes got caught in her eyelashes, causing her to blink rapidly, "but I'm kind of in a hurry. So suck it up and shut up. No talking."

Glaring at her, Killian scooted back inside the cab, pressing himself as close to the door as he could, his warm breath fogging up the icy window, avoiding her gaze as she climbed into the car and quietly told the driver her address. Although his body was angled away from hers, he could feel the heat radiating from her, which was surprising considering the low temperature outside.

They rode together in silence for a few blocks, no noise emitting from the vehicle except the low buzz of the radio, static breaking up the early millennial break-up tune that had been playing softly in the background. Feeling Emma's eyes on him, Killian took the moment to steal a glance at her, finding her eyes cut to him, which she quickly averted as she had been caught, a faint red blush appearing on her cheeks.

Deciding it was time to speak up, Killian interrupted the stillness. "If you wanted to stare at me, love, you don't have to hide it," he cheekily grinned, breaking their awkward silence as he smirked at her, moving his body closer to hers. "I'm quite used to it actually."

"What part of 'no talking' did you not understand?" she snapped, continuing to stare out the window, obviously embarrassed that she had gotten caught, aptly avoiding his gaze.

"All I'm saying, Swan, is that there's no need to be embarrassed. I don't blame you at all for wanting to look at me," he smoothly replied as he placed his hand softly on her knee, rubbing his thumb in quick circles, which she quickly swatted away, earning him an icy glare.

For a half a second, she imagined him doing those quick circles somewhere else, somewhere more pleasurable; his fingers going faster and faster as he slammed into her from above until she finally reached that golden peak. Internally cursing herself, she pushed the thoughts away, although her body hummed in desire, face flush. It made her hate him even more – this effect he had on her. "Do you ever shut up?"

Killian chuckled softly, moving his gaze back out towards the window as he held his arms tight against his chest. Complying with her arguments, Killian decided it best to keep his mouth shut. Sure, he loved more than anything to egg her on, seeing how far he could push her. But with her irritated mood and the fact that it had been a long day at work, he knew it was in his best interest to keep quiet for the remainder of the ride. After all, he did value his life.

After riding for a few more blocks, the New York traffic being complete chaos at this time of night, he sighed and glanced down once again at his watch. He was running late and he absolutely hated to keep his princess waiting. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her carefully watching him once again.

"Seems as if you're in a hurry too," Emma broke the silence, nodding down to his watch.

"Excuse me?"

"You've looked at your watch five times in the last fifteen minutes," she clarified, finally turning her body towards his in the smaller than average taxicab. When he didn't immediately answer, she raised an eyebrow in question.

Smirking, his eyes finally met hers, blue and green swirling together in an unmistakable electric energy, always pulling them towards each other, even though their minds protested. One step forwards, two steps back.

"Watching me closely, huh, Swan?"

Emma groaned, running a hand through her blonde curls, only to press the heel of her hand into her eyes until she started seeing black spots. "Oh my God, can you even carry on a normal conversation?!"

Killian chuckled to himself, smirking because she was so easy to get riled up. Ducking his head, he replied. "If you must know, yes I am.

She nodded her head, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she turned her attention to the falling snow outside, the cab moving too slowly down the road. "Got a hot date, huh?" Emma replied, her eyes never leaving the dancing flurries, her unforgiving smirk letting him know that she was finally teasing him back.

Turning his attention to his boss, he curtly countered, "Jealous, are we?" And surprisingly, when she didn't respond – a mere eye roll showing that she was beyond fed up with his games – he added, "And it's not exactly a date, per se. Just…plans," he quietly added in a confused tone, not quiet sure how to label their relationship yet.

Emma nodded, as if she completely understood the situation he was in. Which, unbeknownst to him, she did. "I see."

"And what about you, Swan?" he pressed, his eyes darting to her. "You said you were in a hurry as well. Who's the poor guy?"

Emma scoffed in disbelief. What was this guy's problem? One second he could be sincere, open, and honest and then next he was cocky and teasing. No wonder she hated him so much. "None of your business, Jones."

Killian's face fell, noting that he had obviously upset her more than normal, hitting a sore subject. Biting his bottom lip, he turned his face towards hers, noticing her sullen face as she gazed outside. "I'm sorry, Swan. I didn't mean to pry."

"Forget it," she briskly responded, pulling her arms tighter around her body.

"Emma," Killian breathed out, inching closer to her, and laying a hand on her bare shoulder. He brushed his thumb over her freckles, taking a blonde curl between his fingers and tugging on it gently. His thigh rubbed against hers and he felt Emma stiffen in response. "All I'm saying is that he's a lucky guy to have you."

Letting out a shaky breath, and even though her brain screamed not to, Emma turned her head towards his, not realizing how close he actually was. Noses bumped awkwardly and Emma let out a sharp gasp at the physical contact. It was too intimate. Too personal. And too much for someone that she so desperately hated.

Although her gut told her not to, Emma lifted her emerald eyes to his – brilliant blue already staring back at her. They shined with an intensity that she had never seen before. His eyes dipped down to her lips and then back up to meet her eyes, his tongue darting out quickly wetting his lips in anticipation of the unknown. She saw his eyes slowly flutter shut, his mouth skimming against hers without actually making contact. Letting herself fall for only a moment, she touched her forehead to his, sparks igniting from the contact. When she realized that she had fallen into another one of his traps, her eyes flashed outside as the vehicle rolled to a halt, her walls slamming back up.

"This is my stop," she quickly breathed out against his lips before hurriedly opening the door and walking into the brisk air, her steady heart beating in her ears.

"Emma," Killian urgently called, face fallen in frustration, his arm reaching out for her as she slammed the car door in his face, leaving him alone in the backseat.

* * *

Slamming the door behind her, Emma slumped against the wall, allowing her head to rest on it with a loud thump. What the hell was that? She always knew there was unresolved sexual tension between her and Killian, but she had never expected him to actually attempt something like that. Vividly remembering what had happened not moments ago, she remembered his face - that discouraged expression etched in her mind. Almost…disappointment, perhaps? Those blue, blue eyes almost becoming bluer at the image of her walking away from him.

She hated him. She hated him _so_ much.

Emma pushed the thoughts as far from her mind as she possibly could. She couldn't deal with this; not tonight. Her gut twisted and turned, instinctually telling her that tonight was different. Getting home from work was always first on her thoughts, running away as quickly as possible to get back to _him_ – her pirate. Her safe haven, her hope, _her home_. Talking to him felt safe and warm, like being wrapped up in your favorite blanket on the coldest night.

Killian Jones wasn't worth her thoughts.

Her heels clicking almost mechanically against the cold, hardwood floor, Emma quietly making her way to her bedroom, silently passing Ruby's room, thumping loud music emanating from the interior. Emma rolled her eyes, to herself of course, at her best friend. She had the night off from work, so it's highly likely that Victor was with her, doing god knows what in there.

Feeling her heart beating loudly in her ears, throbbing, her legs almost melting to the floor like jello, she put her hand on her bedroom doorknob. Placing her forehead against the wood of the door, she breathed in through her nose and out through the mouth several times, calming her nerves.

They had been talking for over a month now, her feelings growing stronger every day for someone she had never even met. And Emma assumed that he would say the same thing. How long could it go on like this? Comfortably talking to each other – in the cyber world, mind you - for a few hours a day. No touch. No contact. No intimacy.

It's not like she cared an ounce about Killian, but what if something had happened tonight? What if she had given in for just a moment to the lust and hate that had wrapped around them tightly since the moment they first met? What would she tell her pirate? As much as she was comfortable with the way things were between them, Emma knew that they had finally reached that point. A step needed to be taken, something had to be done before anything happened that either of them would eternally regret.

Gaining courage, she pushed her door open, her heart falling slightly at the blank computer screen glowing back at her. When she made it to her laptop, Emma ran her fingers over the keys, silently praying that he had not given up on her. This was so unusual. Usually there was always a message – or several – waiting for her once she got home.

But this time, nothing.

_It's no big deal, _Emma thought to herself, trying her best to be optimistic._ Maybe he's just running late. There's no need to worry._

Deciding it best to get her mind off the subject for a little bit, Emma made her way to the kitchen to make her routine cup of hot chocolate, dashing a bit of cinnamon on top for added flavor. It was her favorite, her go-to cup of comfort.

Sitting down in the window seat, she pulled her knees up against her chest, her hands carefully wrapped around the mug of steaming liquid. She blew on the steaming drink, cautiously flicking her tongue out to taste and see if it was too hot to drink. Giving a long content sigh, she settled her back against part of the bay window, looking down into the street below. She smiled at the families that walked by, the children (who should have definitely been in the bed by this hour) playfully throwing snowballs at each other.

Her heart faltered as a couple walked by; wrapped up in each other, huddled close for warmth, their hands intertwined as they walked down the icy path. She watched them laugh together, him obviously teasing her, before he placed a gently peck on her lips.

Emma burned all over. She itched for that. To feel his hand strongly holding on to hers; her wrapped up in him completely. To actually see the love and adoration in his eyes instead of through his flowery words.

_Ding!_

The sound of an incoming message from her laptop pulled her out of her thoughts as it echoed through the silent apartment, bounced off the walls, and reverberated into her steadily beating core. Her heart squeezed tightly in her ribcage. Controlling her excitement, Emma took the time to finish her hot chocolate in peace; he made her wait, now it was his turn. Sometimes playing hard to get actually turned out fun.

After slipping her empty mug into the sink, Emma's feet softly padded to her bedroom as she slunk down in her chair, the screen blinking as rapidly as her heart was beating inside her chest. She wrung her hands together and mustered the courage to finally face him.

_pirate300: Sorry to keep you waiting, m'lady. Traffic was a nightmare and the same could almost be said for my day. But enough about me. How are you doing tonight, my princess?_

_princess28: Much better now that I'm talking to you :) Why was your day so awful?_

_pirate300: Well, work was a little bit better than normal, I suppose. But after work was another story…_

_princess28: Oh?_

_pirate300: Yeah…_

Emma got an uneasy feeling at his vagueness. Usually her pirate was always open and honest. But the dots worried her; there was definitely more to his story. Something was up. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

_princess28: Want to talk about it?_

_pirate300: Um…Well, I'm not too proud of it really._

Her stomach flopped uncomfortably. She could almost imagine him scratching his neck awkwardly, his fingers rubbing behind his ear as a faint red blush crept up his necks into his cheeks. This wasn't how this was supposed to go tonight.

_princess28: You know you can tell me anything, pirate. Open and honest, remember? :)_

Emma could feel his hesitance as he didn't type back immediately as he normally would. It felt as if her heart was going to beat right out of her chest, the room seemingly becoming smaller in anticipation.

_pirate300: I almost kissed another woman tonight…_

Emma felt an inch tall. Jealousy surged through her bones, her fists balled up against her thighs, blood pulsing rapidly within. Sure they both had feelings for each other – well, she was at least certain her for him – but they had no label. She had no restrictions on him; he had every right to do what he pleased in his life. And then she remembered that she had almost committed the same sin tonight. Yes, she definitely had no right to tell him what to do.

_princess28: Oh. I see. Did you want to? I mean…what stopped you?_

_pirate300: Honestly? You. Princess, I just don't know if I can do this anymore._

Here it was. Emma had felt it coming, quite honestly. From the very start this conversation held ominous warnings. On the inside, she felt like she was drowning, overcome with feelings that needed to burst out. A small tear escaped as her emotions bubbled over, finding an escape, welling against her emerald eyes.

_princess28: Okay…well. Um…it was nice getting to know you I guess…_

_pirate300: NO! No, that's not what I meant at all. I don't want this to end, my love. Not if I have any say in it at least._

_princess28: Oh? Well then what exactly did you mean, pirate?_

_pirate300: I need to meet you. You know that this is the only way we are going to work out. My dear, there is no way for a cyber relationship to continue unless there is some physicality to it. I need to see you. Speak to you. Feel you. So, what do you say? Dinner tomorrow night?_

This was it; the moment she had dreaded since first falling for him. They had both kept putting it off for so long that it just felt comfortable to continue as they were. They were content in that state, chatting online daily, and she knew they would be until something happened, and tonight was that something. There was no getting around it or putting it off this time. She had to answer.

Biting her fingernail, chewing at it almost mechanically as she rattled her brain for the answer to her problems, Emma knew that she wouldn't be able to make this decision alone. Springing up from her chair in haste, Emma bounded to Ruby's room, careful to look down at the doorknob for a rubber band before entering (she had once walked in on her and Victor; needless to say, Emma had been scarred for awhile after that).

"Ruby?" Emma whispered into the darkness as she peeked her head through the door. She saw Ruby's calm form sprawled out on the bed, long legs twisted around the covers. Leaning over, Emma gently shook her friend awake. "Ruby!"

Ruby groaned as she turned over, slinging an arm across her eyes. "Emma," she whined, pulling herself up slightly, rubbing at her eyes furiously before squinting her eyes to glance at her glowing clock. "It's three in the morning. Someone better be dying."

Emma flopped down on the bed unceremoniously, allowing her head to fall on one of Ruby's many pillows, burying her face deep down into the cloud-like form. "I don't know what to do," she gave a muffled moaned into the pillow.

"Is this about pirate boy?" Ruby questioned, raising one of her beautiful eyebrows high against her forehead. Emma nodded without looking back. "Let me guess, he finally wants to meet?"

Another nod.

"So what's the problem then?"

Emma moaned once again into the pillow before sitting up rapidly, the blood quickly flooding to her head, making her dizzy and lightheaded. "He almost kissed another woman tonight."

Ruby shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal. "All the more reason to meet him."

"Ruby…"

"I'm serious, Emma. This is a sign. It's time to finally suck it up and make a decision. Either meet him and possibly live happily ever after or let him go and never know about the amazing person that you've missed out on. Don't let those walls of yours keep love out. I know you're scared, but take a leap of faith. The outcome might just surprise you."

Emma sighed. Ruby was right (of course she was). "Thanks Ruby," Emma whispered into the dark as she got up from the bed, closed the door behind her, and walked back to her room, almost in a zombie-like state.

Her emotions flurried around her, _yes-or-no, yes-or-no_, as she sat back down at the computer. Emma noticed that he had sent the message several more times, probably assuming that he had scared her off once and for all.

_pirate300: Princess? You still there?_

_pirate300: Dinner?_

_pirate300: Yes or no?_

Glancing down at the keyboard, Emma lifted her shaky hands. Two short little words to choose from; both of which would have a huge impact on her life. She weighed the options once more before jabbing her fingers at three short keys.

_princess28: Yes_


	4. Chapter 4

_It's just a date._

Scrub. Scrub.

_It's not that big of a deal._

Scrub. Scrub.

_There's absolutely nothing to be worried about._

A thousand different thoughts and words flashed through Emma's mind as she ground the rag into the counter, rubbing at a spot that had been left behind (probably by Killian, who was too busy flirting with the customers to actually do his job). Dipping the washcloth in water once more, she wrung the fabric between her hands with all her might, allowing her frustrations to take fruition in her work.

She should be happy. Really, she should. But too many doubts and fears had managed to creep their way into her already scared mind. What if he's not what she expected? What if he's a jerk? What if he's the one that is disappointed? What if he leaves her? God, she didn't even want to think about the answer to these questions, pouring her anxiety into her work before a certain brunette interrupted her internal war.

"Emma," Ruby loudly greeted, Emma's head shooting up fast, blonde curls bouncing everywhere in the process. Emma knew her face was flush, panting from exertion, eye's a little red-rimmed, her voice caught in her throat. "Are you going to talk to me or continue your assault on a counter that you cleaned five minutes ago?"

"Ruby," Emma choked with a breathy voice, trying her best to regain composure. "Everything okay?"

"Obviously not with you," her best friend responded as she sat down on one of the barstools, Emma aptly avoiding her gaze in embarrassment. "Let me guess, you finally set up a date with pirate boy?"

Emma groaned, plopping down next to her roommate, her head cradled in her hands as she rubbed her tired eyes. "Yeah, I did."

Ruby's eyes lit up (as if she were the one going on a date with a mysterious pirate). "Oh my god," she cried in excitement, clapping her hands together. "I can't believe you're finally going to meet him. You should be so excited," Ruby continued, eyeing her best friend, a frown quickly taking the place of her once brilliant smile. "But you're not, are you?"

"It's more complicated than that, Ruby," Emma sighed, eyeing Killian who was wiping down the other end of the bar, giving a discouraged moan into her hands.

Ruby looked at Emma, then followed her line of sight down to Killian. She arched an eyebrow at the distressed blonde. "Killian?" Ruby questioned, giving a slight chuckle. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Absolutely nothing," Emma admitted in a quick voice. "You know that I hate him more than anything. He has no value in this equation whatsoever."

Ruby smirked and gave Emma a knowing look, crossing her tan arms across her chest loosely. "He tried to kiss you, didn't he?"

"What?" Emma shrieked, earning her a confused glance from Killian at the end of the bar, as he appeared to have been straining to catch the end of their conversation at the sound of his name. "Where would you get a crazy idea like that?"

Frowning, Ruby gave Emma a pointed look. "I don't know why you two don't just sleep together and get all of this unnecessary sexual tension out of the way so that you can focus on your pirate."

"Because that's not the way this works, Ruby," Emma admitted dryly. "You can't just go around sleeping with every guy and expect to find a committed relationship."

"Well maybe that's what this is all about then, really. You're afraid of commitment."

Emma grimaced, knowing her best friend was partially right. "It's not just me I'm worried about. It's him. What if everything ends tonight? I don't want this to be over yet," she whispered, biting her bottom lip and twirling a piece of blonde hair around her finger.

"Emma," the brunette began, wrapping an arm around her best friend's shoulders. "There is absolutely nothing to worry about. You've already gotten to know each other on a personal and emotional level. The hard part is over. Now all that's left is for you to knock his socks off when he sees how hot you are."

Giving her a menacing glare, Emma playfully punched Ruby on the arm, swatting to remove from her embrace, Ruby giggling hysterically. "I hate you," Emma lied, scowling at her.

"Of course you do," Ruby chuckled as she rolled her eyes, before sarcastically adding, "_and_ you want to marry Killian Jones."

Squinting her eyes and wrinkling her nose in disgust, Emma slapped Ruby's arm once again, pointing a finger in her face. "Don't even joke like that."

Clutching her sides from laughter, the brunette just shook her head in triumph, giving a long sigh when her laughter subsided, flashing a radiant smile Emma's way. "Okay, well just be home by five so that I'll have time to help you with your hair and makeup. Gotta make sure you look hot for Mr. Perfect. Is David managing the bar tonight for you?"

"What about me?" came a male voice from behind the two girls, both woman turning around quickly to see David proudly standing there, arms across his chest, beautiful smile upon his handsome face.

"Thank God you're back," Emma moaned, jumping up from her stool, slightly tripping in the process, to stand in front of her oldest friend. The pair had met during freshman orientation at college and had been inseparable ever since. And when David, a business major, had taken on a class project to create his own company, he took it a little bit too literally and that's how their beloved bar was born.

"What, I don't even get a hello? Good to see you?" David joked, opening his arms for a hug he knew Emma had trouble returning.

"Ugh, fine," Emma grumbled as she gave the man a quick hug, just to appease him. She knew she'd never hear the end of it if she didn't.

David chuckled into the embrace. "So what exactly is the problem now, Emma?"

Emma shrugged her shoulders, frowning at her transparency. "Absolutely nothing. I'm just so thankful that you're taking my shift tonight…so I…can go…um…" Emma paused, nervously scratching at her neck, as she tried her best to think of a word other than "date".

"She has a date tonight with a man she met online," Ruby interrupted, earning a hard glare from Emma, who held her head down in embarrassment, a faint red taking over her cheeks.

"So you're finally meeting pirate boy?" a small voice spoke, Emma's head shooting up to see Mary-Margaret approaching, the petite woman leaning up to place a kiss on her husband's cheek. "Way to go, Em."

Emma groaned, running a hand through her blonde locks in frustration. "Can we please not talk about this?"

Her three friends blinked back at her, confused expressions on their faces. Emma loved her friends more than anything, she truly did. But at times they could be a bit overbearing. She was the type of girl who preferred to keep her personal life, well, private.

"Forget it," Emma groaned, blinking rapidly to keep tears from coming, knowing that each tear she held back only added more bricks to her wall. They were building higher and higher the longer she held those tears in. And she knew that one day, there wouldn't be any way to hold those tears in any more, and that wall would finally crumble. Emma could only hope that on that day, someone would be there to catch her when everything falls apart.

Turning her back to her friends, Emma's heels clicked quickly across the bar floor as she headed to her office. She needed to clear her head; she just needed a moment to herself to think things through.

She was only alone a moment, though, as a soft knock on the door jarred her from her despairing thoughts. Clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes, the tears that constantly threatened to spill over, she responded faintly.

"Come in."

Pushing the door slightly open, David's head appeared between the cracked door. "May I?"

Biting her bottom lip, Emma nodded silently. Giving her an encouraging smile, David entered, walking towards his best friend and leaning against the desk in front of her, arms crossed against his well-toned chest. "So what's going on, Ems?"

Emma groaned once again. More than anything, she didn't want to talk about this, especially to David. But she felt as if she didn't get these feelings out soon, she would burst completely. And if it had to be told to someone, it was going to be him. David was like the big brother she never had – teasing her constantly, yet ready to pull a knife out on anyone who harmed her.

"For over a month now I've been chatting with this guy online. He also lives in New York. And we finally decided to meet tonight."

"And you're worried about something going wrong?" he questioned, Emma nodding in response. David kneeled down next to Emma, taking one of her cold, shaky hands in his. "Emma, if he's already fallen for your mind and personality, he'd be a fool not to fall for you in person. I'm not just saying this because I'm your best friend, but you are a very gorgeous woman. I have no doubt that tonight will go perfectly. And besides, if he does hurt you, I'll be sure to put him at the top of my kill list."

Emma choked out a sobbed laugh as David wrapped his arms around her in a gentle embrace, his hand going to the back of her neck to softly cradle her head. "You have a kill list?"

David chuckled as he pulled back to look at her tear stained face. "Well, not yet. But if he did, I would have to create one very quickly."

Finally a small smile broke out across Emma's face, sniffling her nose obnoxiously. "Thanks, David."

"Anytime," he promised, giving Emma's hand a gentle squeeze, a knock on the door pulling them from their moment.

"Come in," both bosses muttered in unison.

And then there he was - Killian Jones' head appearing in the doorway, a contagious smile forming across his handsome face as he spotted David. "Dave, it's so nice to have you back, mate!"

"Good to see you as well, Jones," David greeted, giving Killian a pat on the back and a firm handshake. "What can I do for you?"

Killian eyed Emma nervously, the walls that David had just taken a few bricks off of shooting back up instantly. "Actually, I would like to speak with both of you. If you may, I need tonight off."

"Absolutely not," Emma firmly replied quickly, never giving David the chance to respond.

Her co-manager shot her a dirty look. "Don't you think we should discuss this together first, Emma?"

"What's there to discuss? He's scheduled for tonight and there is no one to replace him. So no, you may not have the night off." Emma placed her hands on her hips, straightening her back; a stance that she felt gave her power and control of a situation.

"If this is about last night, Emma, I'm truly sorry-" Killian began before she quickly interrupted, taking a step towards him, this time she invading his personal space.

"The decision is final, Jones," she spat at him coldly, trying her best to avoid discussion of last nights affair, especially in front of David.

Knowing that he was getting nowhere with Emma, the young bartender turned to his male boss, a pleading look in his cerulean eyes. "Dave, perhaps you will understand. I have a very important date tonight that I do not want to break. I've fallen so desperately for this woman and I do not want to disappoint her. It's serious, mate. I'll never ask for another favor again."

David cautiously glanced at Emma, who might as well have had fume coming out of her ears, fire from her eyes, and then glanced back at Killian. "Look, I'm managing tonight. So ultimately the decision is up to me. It's a weeknight so the crowd should not be that bad. I don't mind picking up on Killian's duties around here. And besides," he continued as he eyed Emma, "I would hate to be responsible for breaking a woman's heart."

Emma's expression softened slightly but she scoffed anyways at the joy that appeared on Killian's face. She rolled her eyes at the two and tried her best to ignore him. The blonde boss had her only problems to worry about now. And once again, she would not let Killian Jones consume her thoughts. He still wasn't worth it.

* * *

"Emma, would you please hold still or I'm going to end up poking you in the eye," Ruby ordered as she swiped the eyeliner across the bottom of Emma's emerald eyes, smudging it slightly in the process as Emma nervously wiggled in the seat in front of her.

"Sorry," the blonde muttered to herself as she wrung her quivering hands together in anticipation, glancing another time at the clock to realize that she still had over two hours left before her date; asking herself once more why she ever agreed to this.

Covering the lipstick across Emma's pursed lips, Ruby nodded for her to press them together, the red covering her soft lips equally. "There," Ruby exclaimed, putting the tube on the top of the lipstick, running a hand through Emma's curly blonde locks, spreading them on her shoulders. "You look beautiful, Emma."

Straining her neck, Emma glanced at herself in the mirror, her bright and beautiful reflection staring back at her. She gave herself a half smile that didn't fully reach her eyes. And she had to admit, Ruby did an amazing job on her. She was simply stunning. The problem was that she didn't quite feel like it on the inside.

From behind, Ruby placed her hands on both of Emma's shoulders, leaning her head down beside her roommates to glance at them in the mirror as well. "Don't worry, Emma. You'll get frown lines."

Emma rolled her eyes at her roommate (always worried about appearance), adjusting the strap to the tight-fitting red dress she was wearing. "Thank you, Ruby. You actually did an amazing job."

"Well don't sound so surprised," Ruby joked, lightly giving Emma a lighthearted push on the shoulder. "Just be sure to send me an invitation to the wedding."

Smirking once more as Ruby walked out the door to Emma's bedroom, Emma just snickered. "Sure thing, Rubs." Better to agree than start another argument.

Feeling the anticipation bubbling in the pit of her stomach once again, Emma shook the mouse of her computer to wake it up; the bright message that had been sent hours ago reminding her of what was to come.

_pirate300: I am looking forward to tonight, my beautiful princess. See you at 7!"_

Emma had to force herself to not respond, she didn't want to seem overly anxious or needy. The last thing she needed was for tonight to go badly. She sighed once more (in through the nose, out through the mouth), her head shooting up when Ruby appeared once more.

"You ready?" the brunette questioned, eyeing Emma's beautiful figure as she shakily stood up, slipping her heels on in the process.

Straightening her dress and fluffing her curls, Emma glanced once at her computer screen, the message blinking happily like a lighthouse helping her to find her way home, and then back to her roommate.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

"Right this way, madam," the stout host instructed, a towel perfectly draped over his arm and a menu clutched tightly in one hand, the other arm held out to show her the direction to head.

"Thank you," Emma breathed out, glancing around the fancy French restaurant, the crowd murmuring lightly around her. He sure knew how to pick them apparently. _Le Barnardin_ had been rated one of the most romantic restaurants in New York, and she knew that he was definitely going to pay for all four of those stars.

"Here is your seat, Miss," the man's thick voice instructed, the French accent shining through, as he pulled out her seat at the two person table and placed the menu on the table. "Will you be dining alone?"

"Um, no sir," Emma stuttered, glancing around the room once more, looking around – looking for _him_. She had not anticipated showing up at the restaurant before her date; she had assumed he would be waiting for her already. "The other half of my party should be here soon."

"Very well." The plump man nodded, his shiny bald heading gleaming under the low florescent lights above, and went about his way, weaving through the crowd back towards his podium at the door.

Emma let out a shaky breath, clutching her hands tightly together.

_So you're a bit early_, she thought to herself. _Just give him some time and he'll show up._

Picking up the menu, she busied herself with reading the text, scrunching her brow up in confusion when she couldn't understand the French words. She clenched her fist under the table against her thigh and then unclenched it, repeating the pattern several times in hopes that it would calm her anxious nerves.

"Well, well, well," came a cocky male voice from beside her. "What do we have here?"

_No. God no._

_Please. Anyone, but him._

When she finally lifted her head, her eyes immediately locked with his, the smirk on his face one of delight and confusion all at the same time. "Don't worry, Swan. I'm not here to ruin your date," Killian confirmed as he sat at the small table next to her. "I'm here on my own date. So I have no interest in ruining yours tonight."

Biting her tongue to keep herself from a snarky response, Emma tried her to best to ignore the annoyingly frustrating man seated at the table next to her. She really did. But one glance was all it took for the warmth to return to her cheeks, the faint red that found a permanent place on her face whenever he was around.

She studied his form, (god, he was so handsome tonight) the dark blue tie fitted perfectly across his button up, his khaki pants pressed and straight. It was obvious that he had put a lot of effort into his appearance tonight; it was also apparent that he had not been joking when he said that tonight was serious for him.

And for some unknown reason, a surge of jealousy shot through Emma's body; starting in her steadily beating heart and making it's way down to her curled toes. Who was this girl that had such power over him, turning him into a lovesick puppy? She was used to being the one who had control over Killian.

Emma shook the odd thoughts from her mind, carefully reminding herself that even though he was here, tonight was not about Killian. It was solely about her pirate (god she needed to find out his real name).

Time passed slowly.

Ten minutes.

Thirty minutes.

Forty-five minutes.

Glancing down at her watch, she gave a slow sigh (which almost came out as a sob). Emma was pulled out of her thoughts, however, when she saw movement in front of her. Slowly lifting her head, through her blurry vision she saw Killian pulling out the chair at her table and sitting down cautiously, holding his hands up in defeat.

"Looks like we've both been stood up, love."

The look on his face was not just one of pity, but understanding. The sadness set deep in his blue eyes almost seemed to make them bluer. His heart was breaking just as much as hers. And Emma assumed that this was the only moment that the two had actually been on the same level. No innuendoes. No flirting. No tension. Just two people hurting together, sharing their pain.

"We've still got time," she whispered more to herself than him as her head hung low, fingering at the pre-dinner roll that had gotten cold thirty minutes ago. He frowned in response, the disappointment etched everywhere in his features as well.

"Swan, it's been over an hour. They're not coming."

A sharp pang spread through her chest, the restaurant seemingly growing smaller around her, the noise ringing louder in her ears. Emma panted, her intakes getting heavier as she closed her eyes in an attempt to gain control of her breathing. But nothing seemed to help, that is, until she felt a warm hand covering her own, tugging it closer to wrap around hers – palm against palm.

"Whoever he was, Swan, he was truly an idiot to let a beautiful woman like you go. I'm truly sorry though, lass. If it helps, I know exactly how you feel."

Emma's shoulders slumped, glancing up at the man in front of her through hooded eyes, his hand giving hers a gentle, reassuring squeeze when she didn't pull away at his touch.

"I never would have thought she would have stood me up," Killian claimed in a somber tone, even though he knew that Emma probably didn't particularly care about his problems at the moment. She had issues of her own to deal with. "I mean, I always knew that she was nervous to finally meet me, but I never gave her any indication that I didn't care. Well," he continued, awkwardly scratching behind his ear with the hand that wasn't holding hers, "except for when I told her last night that I had almost kissed you."

Emma froze; her eyes shot up to finally meet his. Her expression changed from sadness to shock as the pieces of the puzzle finally started to connect.

They both had dates.

Same restaurant.

Same night.

And the biggest piece – he had told his date about almost kissing her.

Finally, it all clicked and Emma felt as if her heart had stopped beating, the circular pattern his thumb was rubbing across her hand almost leaving her numb from head to toe. She never knew why she uttered these next words, but the feeling of uncertainty allowed them to slip right out.

"Unless…." she started, her breathing finally starting to grow heavier and faster, "pirate?"

The next word that she heard was one she had been waiting over a month to hear, but she never in her wildest dreams expected the word to come tumbling out of Killian Jones' lips.

"Princess?"


	5. Chapter 5

Time stood still.

All motion around them ceased as blue and emerald eyes locked, a swirl of emotions dancing around them madly like a cyclone.

Emma felt Killian's grasp on her shaky hand tighten, both of their eyes growing wide at the realization. They had finally found each other, but it was not what - or who, rather - they had been expecting. How was it even possible that the person they loved so dearly was also the person that they hated so much?

Emma opened her mouth to speak, yet nothing came out, her jaw hanging slack before she quickly shut it. What could she even say? The longer he looked at her (those blue eyes softening - with almost happiness, maybe?), the more she felt her heart breaking. She had known from the beginning that this was a bad idea - meeting him. And more precisely, in hindsight, she suddenly realized that it was the worst idea she had ever had.

As her breath continued to quicken, the cool (and oddly calm) demeanor of his voice pulled her out of her frantic thoughts. "Swan."

Although it was probably meant as a statement, her name came tumbling out of his lips more as a question, his eyes pleading earnestly with her to speak, to say something. Anything. Because oddly enough, for once in his life, Killian Jones too was speechless.

Finally managing to pull her eyes away from his hypnotic stare, Emma found her attention averted to their intertwined hands (how did she miss that happening? Their fingers laced tightly together, his warm palm burning against hers, the way his rough, calloused thumb was so gentle and tender in his touch). It was all suddenly too much.

Pushing back the lump in her throat and rapidly blinking the tears away, Emma jumped up from her seat, the chair crashing loudly to the floor behind her, causing everyone in the restaurant to glance their way in wonder. But at the moment, she didn't care about all the curious eyes that were looking her way; all she was concerned about was the nearest, and quickest, exit.

"Emma," Killian called out to her as he stood up to face her (his voice nothing but a silent echo in the foggy caverns of her mind), concern etched on his face, their intertwined hands caught between their close bodies. "Love, it's okay. You don't have to do this. You don't have to run away."

"I…" Emma started, her breathing rapidly increasing once more, her eyes quickly darting around the room looking for a way out. Then finally her eyes found his once more. And everything changed.

Upon Killian Jones' face was not the usual smirk or smug look, it was the same appearance of concern and worry for her that she had seen moments earlier when it seemed as if they had been stood up. Clearly, he was not as upset about this as she was. But why? Ever since he had walked into her life a few months ago, Killian Jones had been nothing but a bother to her – teasing, innuendoes, hurtful comments. Aside from their almost shared moment in the taxicab the night before, Killian had never given her any indication at all that he actually cared for her.

"Emma, we need to talk about this."

Emotions flooding her, it was all too much for Emma to take in at once. "I…" she continued once again, searching his blue eyes for sincerity before quickly looking away, jerking her hand from his possession, as if she had accidentally touched a hot stove. "I can't do this."

Emma was never really one for crying. She always tried to distinguish herself as a strong, independent woman, who would take crap from no one. Years of being a boss, especially over challenging men like Killian, easily shaped that into her personality. But as she dashed out of the restaurant (Killian either probably hot on her heels or still standing there like an idiot in complete shock), her heels clicking loudly in her ears, she didn't care who saw the warm tears streaming down her once hopeful face.

Flinging the door open, her blonde hair bouncing lifelessly - almost as if her mood had deflated her whole being - she stopped short as she saw the streaking rain coming down from the rumbling dark sky. Perfect. Just what she needed to make her night even worse.

Standing under the crowded awning to avoid the downpour as if it were poison, Emma wrapped her arms around her middle, her stomach turning, a feeling of nausea overtaking her. Gasping, she tried to catch her breath, it continuously running away from her since the reveal only minutes ago (although in actuality, it felt like a lifetime), her body shaking in the cold January storm.

Emma jumped when she felt a warm hand cupping her shoulder. Even under the layers of bulky coats to avoid freezing, she still knew it was _his_ burning touch. She spun around to face him, which probably wasn't the best idea given her current state - her head spinning and the dizziness slightly overtaking her, his voice echoing in her ears still.

When she stumbled a bit, Killian's two strong arms came to steady her, placing them along her slender waist without a second thought at the intimate position (the tender way his fingers curled around her side, tracing the contours of her shivering body as if he would never get the chance again to be this close). "Whoa there, Swan. Careful."

Not even taking a second to catch her breath, or regain her balance, Emma suddenly felt another emotion rapidly overtaking her – anger. Clenching her fists, digging her newly manicured nails into her palm (why did she take the time to fix her nails - something she rarely did - for _him_?), she jumped back from his embrace, a sudden confidence overcoming her, and using her two shaky hands, she pushed his chest, ignoring the electricity that once again emitted from their touch.

"No," she spat at him, the taste like venom on her tongue, as she curled her fists against his chest, aiming to hit him again only for him to gently grab her wrists and pull them down – both in a caring manner and to avoid being hit again. Gritting her teeth, she clenched her jaw tight, afraid that her teeth might actually crumble from the pressure. The coldness had now left her body as the rain still poured around them, the warmth both emanating from her anger and his close presence.

"Swan-"

"Don't," Emma growled once more as she squinted her eyes at him, the rage in her tone even surprising her. Feeling the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she managed to remove her wrists from his grasp.

Looking at him once more, the last piece of her heart breaking in the process, she turned and sprinted into the rain, not caring that she was getting wet from both the storm and her tears. As she made it to an open cab, she turned around to glance at Killian again (_just to see if he was still watching her_, she told herself). And as she piled into the cab, somehow managing to tell the driver her address through her sobs, Emma noticed the same look on his face. But little did she know that on the inside, his heart was breaking too.

* * *

_Clunk._

Emma dropped the spoon down into the now-empty rocky road ice cream container, carelessly dropping the bucket to the floor below her in the process. She pulled the blanket tighter around her like a cocoon, snuggling deeper into the warm couch in the darkness of her living room apartment, the glow of the television shining brightly on her sullen face.

She always prided herself as never being a typical girly-girl to the fullest – that was usually Ruby's department. The big hair and makeup, tall heels, flirtatious giggling, etc. But after a heartbreak such as the one she was experiencing greatly right now, she figured it wouldn't hurt to try the ice cream and chick flick method of drowning your sorrows.

The rom-com took another drastic turn as the young girl on the screen burst into tears from her own heartbreak and slumped to the floor, sobs wracking her entire body – _cheesy and cliché_, Emma commented to herself, wordlessly rolling her eyes (but still oh-so true and resonating deeply within her broken heart, a sharp pang of familiarity vibrating within). And then her thoughts once again turned to _him_.

Ever since she had abandoned him at the restaurant hours ago, the clock on her wall slipping slowly towards 1 AM now, she had not been able to get those somber blue eyes out of her mind. The despair filling his eyes, shock taking over his face at the realization of _her_ – his princess.

Emma knew that from his reaction, she was definitely more shaken than he had been. And she almost chuckled to herself (almost), wondering if this was all some sort of sick joke – unwilling to believe herself that this was all true, that it had actually turned out this way. She went in to the date completely unexpectant, actually hoping for the worst. And it had been handed to her on a silver platter.

She heard the familiar _ding_ of her chat messenger once more and she groaned internally. From the moment she had left him, Killian had been messaging her nonstop, trying to convince her to speak to him, to "work things out". So far, she had aptly avoided him with good intentions. With shaky hands, she picked up the phone and, against her better judgment, she began to read his messages.

_pirate300: Call me when you get a chance._

_pirate300: Swan, please. We need to discuss this._

_pirate300: Emma. I know you think this isn't real. But it is. And it is something we need to talk about. I'll give you all the time you need, darling. But when you're ready, I'll be here - Killian_

Seeing _him_ actually acknowledge her identity made it all come crashing down on her again, the realization that this was actually real – that Killian Jones (of all people) was her precious pirate. She skimmed her thumbs over the keys, wrestling in her mind if she should actually respond to him. Anger overcoming her once more, the sobs escaping her body in short pants, Emma threw her phone across the room (thank god for tough cases) in outrage. Her hands immediately came to her face as she curled further into the fetal position on the couch, crying quietly into her hands.

She cried for what seemed like hours until the rattling of keys and the doorknob turning pulled her out of her distress. Never moving from her position, but quickly drying her eyes – and ultimately failing - Emma knew who it was automatically at the voice.

"Emma?" Ruby called out from the doorway, concern laced in her voice as she rushed to the weeping blonde on the couch. "Oh my god, what happened?"

Emma sniffled once more, sitting up from her fetal position to allow room on the couch for her roommate to sit next to her, her head spinning slightly from hours of crying. Ruby obliged and sat next to her friend, wrapping an arm around Emma's shoulders in comfort.

Wiping a sweaty strand of hair from her friends face, Ruby questioned, "It was the date wasn't it?"

Emma nodded in response, her shaky hands rubbing away the tears, smearing her long ruined mascara again in the process.

"Oh, Emma, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have built it up just for him to probably turn out to be a jerk. I didn't mean to-"

"It's Killian," Emma interrupted in a whisper so low that Ruby wasn't even sure that she had heard her correctly.

Ruby chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow in question. "What?"

"Killian. My date – the pirate. It was him."

Letting a laugh escape her beautiful lips, Ruby smiled widely. "You're kidding me, right?"

Emma raised her eyebrow, frowning, giving her roommate the look that said _does it look like I'm kidding you?_ Ruby's smiled quickly disappeared.

"You're serious. Killian Jones is your secret online lover?" Ruby questioned, bouncing up and down in excitement on the couch, trying her best to contain her unrequited joy.

It had long been known that Ruby thought Emma and Killian were perfect for each other, despite their unadulterated hate and disgust for each other (or so it would seem). She constantly tried to set them up or convince Emma that she should just take the chance to bang him already, usually insisting, _"Just give it a go and see if he's any good. If you're a match, great. And if not, then at least you were able to finally get laid again."_

Emma winced and prepared herself for the forthcoming _"I told you so"_.

"Killian," Ruby repeated once again, more to herself in disbelief. "Hmm. So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Ruby. I really don't want to talk, or even think, about it tonight," Emma croaked, her voice scratchy and throat raw from hours of sobbing as she ran a hand through her blonde locks.

"Okay," Ruby nodded, taking Emma's hand in hers and giving it a squeeze before lifting herself off the couch and heading to her room. "Well, when you do want to talk about it, I'll be here."

Emma nodded solemnly as her best friend walked away. When she had made it to her bedroom door, Emma took a deep breath and called out after her.

"Ruby?"

The brunette twirled around, raising an eyebrow in response.

"Thanks," Emma whispered, playing with her fingers idly in her lap as she sat criss-crossed on the couch.

Ruby smiled through the darkness. "You're welcome."

When her roommate disappeared and the door clicked shut behind her, Emma face planted back down on the couch with a groan, wrapping the blanket around her again, the television long forgotten in the background. Sighing, the blonde squeezed her eyes shut and tired her best to disregard everything. But despite it all, it could not be forgotten. Emma knew in the back of her mind that she was in big trouble.

* * *

Days pasted without seeing Killian. Emma had managed to take a few vacation days to get her feet back under her and then scheduled her hours around his, making sure that they were never working at the same time. She knew that, working in the same environment, she would eventually run into him again. But for the time being, Emma was going to try her hardest to avoid him at all costs.

It had been five days since that fateful night, and Ruby had finally convince Emma that the best way to get over him would be to "get back out there". So here she was, sitting in front of her mirror, doing some last minute touchup curling to her blonde hair. Putting the curler down, she sighed, forcing herself to pick up the lipstick tube and spread it across her lips.

Emma knew that this wasn't going to work. All she had thought about for days was him – her pirate, trying her best to forget that it was actually Killian. But she knew that Ruby was not going to quit pestering her until she finally went out. According to her roommate, apparently everyone was tired of seeing her moping around. (Ruby had literally drug Emma to her closet hours earlier, happily exclaiming that a one-night stand would solve everything – Emma cared to disagree).

She frowned at herself in the mirror, remembering a night not so long ago when she was getting ready just the same, her eyes so full of hope then; and now, nothing but sadness. Tonight she was wearing one of Ruby's dresses (per her order), a little too scandalous for her taste; the low neckline of the blue dress revealing the tops of her full breasts, the short hemline resting high above her creamy thighs. And much to her dismay too, as she desperately tugged at it in hopes of magically making the fabric longer.

A sudden, desperate and incessant knocking on the apartment door pulled her out of her thoughts. _Ruby probably forgot her phone_, Emma thought to herself as she hopped up from the stool and sprinted towards the door. Ruby had left earlier to meet up with Victor beforehand and Emma had been planning on meeting her roommate at the club.

"I'm coming!" Emma yelled as she made her way to the door, almost tripping from the too-tall nude colored heels Ruby had given her, the knocking continuing.

Emma managed to chuckle to herself as her hand met the cold doorknob, twisting it without thought. "Geez, Ruby. Give someone a second to answer the-"

All of the air felt as if it had been knocked out of her body, her heart twisting achingly inside her chest. She had just expected it to be Ruby. Instead, must to her disappointment and dismay, she was shocked to find Killian Jones standing in her doorway instead.

"Swan," he beamed, the brilliant smile consuming the entirety of her face, his blue eyes shining as if she were the most precious and beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

Without a word, she attempted to slam the door in his face, his foot quickly working to block it, the door bouncing back towards her. She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest (mostly in an attempt to cover up the ridiculous amount of cleavage she prominently had on display for him).

Emma wordlessly stared at him as he entered her apartment, softly closing the door behind him. Killian awkwardly scratched behind his ear as he stood in front of her, his eyes trying to avoid the scandalous amount of skin she was showing.

"Love, um…" he stopped short, his voice trailing off as he nervously shifted his feet, unable to think of the correct words to say.

"How did you even find where I live?" she demanded angrily, the heat rising to her cheeks.

"David was worried about you," Killian informed her, frowning as he spoke. "He gave me your address."

Emma rolled her eyes, letting out a huff (she'd definitely kill David later). She angrily stared at him, urging him to continue with his sad tale.

"Swan, I…" Killian paused once again, biting his bottom lip in uneasiness.

"What, Killian?" she snapped, her arms flinging around her, her perfectly styled blonde hair bouncing vigorously. "Go ahead and say whatever you are going to say. Because right now, I don't think you could make my life any worse than it already is."

She was wrong.

Because right there, in the middle of her living room, Killian Jones kissed her.

Cradling her head through her blonde locks, he tugged her lips to his, their mouths meeting in a clash that had Emma's head spinning. Their electricity was exhilarating, the softness of her lips against his – it took her breath away. Emma barely had time to react before she was kissing him back, her mouth moving in earnest against his, lips sliding against each other, her teeth playfully nipping at his bottom lip as he pushed her back up against the door.

She moaned against his mouth, angling her head to allow him deeper, his tongue running along her bottom lip to seek entrance. She willingly obliged, their tongues exploring each other's mouths as he pushed himself up against her, sandwiching her between his scorching body and the solid wall.

Grabbing her wrists, he lifted her arms above her head, pinning them there as he began to work his way down her neck, peppering her salty skin with kisses and sucking on her pulse point, intending to leave a spot – to mark her as _his_. Emma's breath quickened and she let out a low moan from the sensations his mouth were giving her - her body humming in complete pleasure.

Leaving her hands above her head, he let go and placed his instead on her hips. She intently rocked against him, seeking any kind of friction he was willing to give. Emma moved her hands from above her head to card her fingers through his thick, messy locks (oh how long she has wanted to run her fingers through that beautiful hair) and pulled his mouth back to hers. He gave a little grunt in surprise before pressing his lips harder to hers.

Killian moved his hands down her waist, his fingers trailing down to the exposed skin of her thighs, memorizing her curves and sending heat coiling low in her belly with every touch. Fingering the fabric of her dress, his fingers skimming dangerously close to where she so desperately needed to be touched, he pushed the fabric up, bunching it around her waist and revealing the black, lacy underwear she was wearing.

His hips pressed harder against hers, only a little bit of fabric separating them now as she rolled her hips into his – once, twice – eliciting a moan from Killian's mouth. He pulled her thigh up, urging her to wrap her legs around him. Using the wall against her back as support, she jumped up, never breaking their kiss, and wrapped her long legs around his waist, her heels now digging into his lower back.

Their hips fit deliciously together, and Emma could feel Killian's prominent arousal (strained from his dark washed jeans) pressing against her slick core. Emma threw her head back in pleasure, disconnecting their mouths, Killian instead choosing to kiss his way across her collarbone, nipping lightly at whatever skin his mouth could find.

"Oh, Emma," he whispered against her neck, his forehead pressed to her sweaty shoulder as he kissed the tops of her breasts.

Emma stopped. Eyes wide. The voice pulled her out of whatever hypnotic trance he had her under. She was making out with Killian Jones. And even though it might have felt nice, it was still oh so wrong.

Uncrossing her legs from behind his back, Emma dropped to the floor with a plop, stopping Killian from his ministrations as she pushed against his chest.

"No," she panted, stopping him from going back in for another kiss. Her chest was heaving as she pulled away from him, slipping from his grasp to pace the floor of her apartment. Without saying another word, she opened the door, arms crossing against her chest as she breathed heavily (in through the nose, out through the mouth).

"Swan, I-" he began, running a shaky hand through his messy hair, his blue eyes pleading with her.

"Just go, Killian," she interrupted in a firm tone, avoiding his gaze, looking everywhere in the apartment but in his direction.

Nodding his head, his lips pressed together tightly, he walked towards the door, stopping when he was in the doorway, his back now to her. Turning his head back over his shoulder, their eyes finally connecting again, he whispered to her, complete vulnerability in his unsteady voice.

"I just want you to know, love, that I do care for you. I may be Killian Jones but I am also the same pirate that you fell for online. Just as I fell for you. So when you're ready to talk, you know where to find me."

When Emma didn't respond, he nodded once more and walked out the door, which she promptly slammed behind him. Pulling a move straight out of the rom-com she watched earlier in the week, Emma crumbled against the door, sobs wracking her body once again. _Completely cheesy and cliché_, she thought to herself.

But at the moment, it was all she knew to do.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Please note that I have changed the rating of this chapter to M. Also, feel free to follow me on Tumblr (link in my profile) where I post updates on my writing often. Only one chapter left after this! :'(**

* * *

Killian didn't know how exactly it had all happened.

All that matters now is that it did.

One minute, he was standing in front of her nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot. And then the next moment, his lips were on hers. He wasn't quite sure why he had suddenly snapped so. Killian was usually a professional at self-control, trying his best to keep his true emotions in check (he was always better at hiding them anyway – but in front of her, he was an open book; he felt raw, vulnerable and open. And that truly scared him).

He remembered the way she had gasped at his touch – and how quickly, and eagerly, she had responded. It had even surprised him, although it probably shouldn't have considering their rich history for unresolved sexual tension. Thinking of her nails scraping against his scalp as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, their bodies pressed against each other so desperately, sent heat straight to his gut, his sudden arousal straining against his work pants at the mere thought of the way they fit so deliciously together.

And then, she had shut him down. Out of nowhere, he saw her walls shoot back up, ushering him quickly out the door – as if their little affair had never happened at all. Emma was an open book to him; he knew that she was scared of him (of _them_; that prospect sending warmth blooming in his long cold heart). Now all he had to do was figure out how to break down that wall of hers entirely.

Running his fingers through his disheveled, dark locks, Killian sighed and snapped the bar rag that he had on shoulder, the efforts clearly unfocused as his thoughts continued to drift to the blonde who he knew had just locked herself in her office nearby in a deliberant attempt to avoid him. Neither had spoken since the incident, and if it were up to Emma, Killian assumed that it would probably stay that way.

He snuck the cell phone out of his pocket to steal a glance at the screen – empty. His fingers itched to send her a message, to see how she felt, to apologize. The problem? He was not the least bit sorry for what he had done. God knows how long he has wanted to do that, and more, to her. When he had kissed her, Killian thought that maybe she could see how he felt through his actions rather than words (considering that every time he opened his big mouth, she flared up at him). Now it seemed like a good time to find a Plan B.

"Rough day, huh?" a familiar male voice broke him out of his torturous thoughts.

Killian turned to find David standing next to him, pouring a beer and sliding it to him. Shrugging, David responded, "You look like you could use it."

The bartender scoffed, rubbing his finger around the rim of the glass before lifting it to his lips and chugging it down, the alcohol burning his throat – only adding to the confusion that his boss was actually letting him drink on the job. "You have no idea, mate."

"So I take it that it didn't go well."

Killian cringed inwardly – and apparently it must have shown on his face as David raised an eyebrow in question. Slumping to the bar, thankful that it was still early and the crowd was light considering the snowstorm outside, Killian mumbled breathlessly (as if he still couldn't believe it himself), "I kissed her."

"You did what?!" David erupted – not necessarily angry, more so concerned for two of his best friends - the tinge of red creeping up his neck and into his cheeks, his eyebrows shooting high in surprise. "I thought I told you to just go talk to her?"

"I honestly tried, mate," Killian retorted, the sincerity shining through in his voice for once as his face collapsed into his hands in distress.

David's face fell a bit as he watched Killian internally beat himself up. The usual suave, flirtatious Killian was gone – only to be replaced with the heartbroken man at the bar (something that no one, not even David, was used to seeing). Watching his friend, David lightened his mood, patting him on the back encouragingly. "So what happened?"

Rubbing at his eyes until he began to see black spots, Killian pulled back, just enough to flick the dirty bar rag at he stared at an unclean spot on the counter, a small smile creeping back upon his face at the memory. "She kissed me back."

"Oh," David responded in surprise (because, come on, this was _Emma _they were talking about. He certainly had not been expecting to hear that)

Scoffing at his friend's reaction, Killian just shook his head in amusement – a chuckle escaping from the back of his throat; the feeling of lightness and joy settling warmly in his shattered heart as he remembered her soft lips against his - before turning to face David (completing his utterly sad and hopeless tale). "And then she kicked me out."

"Oh." David mimicked Killian's chuckle at his remark. "Sounds like Emma."

Killian sighed as he glanced towards her office, wondering if she were inside the room beating herself up internally as much as he was. "I just don't know what to do, Dave. I've tried talking to her; the woman won't reason."

"I know it's not exactly my place to say this, but go easy on her. Emma…she's just scared. She's had a pretty bad history of relationships in the past that have built up her walls so high that she's terrified to let love in again. Just be patient with her and maybe she'll come around."

Killian's gaze shifted from the office door back to his friend. "What happened to her?"

"Now that," David began as he clapped Killian on the back one last time as he started to walk away, "that is not my story to tell. Just be patient. And when she's ready, she'll talk."

Folding his arms across his chest and giving a half-smile at his friend, Killian called out after him. "And Dave?"

"Yeah?" the blonde questioned as he turned around, strong hands on hips.

Killian waited a heartbeat, two heartbeats, three heartbeats before responding, sincerity and passion practically dripping from his shaky voice, blue eyes filled with desire and devotion that was almost beyond compare. "You know I love her, right?"

Smiling, and breathing a sigh of relief, David responded, "I know you do, Killian. And that's why I know you'll do the right thing."

* * *

Sitting in her silent office alone, Emma felt like beating her head against the desk repeatedly until all memories of the last few days vanished completely from her mind. She felt so stupid and used. But mostly? She just felt confused.

Her emotions were conflicting, tearing at her internally like a battle of tug of war – one end pulling her towards safety (where there was a promise of no pain or heartbreak, yet eternally lonely) and the other end pulling her towards her pirate, into the warm arms of Killian. But that involved risk, a risk that she's taken before (she shuttered at the memories of how naïve she had been, wide-eyed and head over heels in love).

The lump in her throat rose, her chest tightening uncomfortably inside making it difficult for her to breathe properly. Although she knew that she shouldn't – it was really only going to make matters worse – Emma pulled open the desk drawer, fingering the old picture that she had tucked away safely between files.

She glanced down at the young, happy couple in the photograph, faces bright and shiny as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, completely wrapped up in each other, the looks of endless adoration written on their love struck faces. The tears could be felt skimming the surface of her glassy eyes, but refusing to escape – she had already cried enough this week.

There were no more tears left to cry.

"Not every guy is like Neal, you know?"

Her head shot up to make eye contact with Ruby, the sympathetic brunette leaning against her office doorframe, arms crossed across her ridiculously scandalous waitress outfit, long, creamy white legs hardly covered by the red miniskirt.

Emma gave her best friend a half smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as she glanced back down at the photograph. "I know," Emma whispered, face scrunched in response. "I think that's what scares me."

It was probably the first time since everything went down that she had been completely honest with herself. Whenever she shared her feelings, Emma felt weak - she didn't like sympathy and she didn't like to be coddled. People would always treat her as if she were fine china, fragile and frail, like she could break at any moment unless you were very careful with the delicates.

"Come on, Emma," Ruby whined as she gave an unladylike plop into the armchair in front of the desk. "You know Killian…"

"Yeah, and I think that's apart of the problem," Emma sarcastically replied with a snort, eyes darting back down at the memory in her hand again. Her short laughter died, a frown replacing her smile.

"He's a good guy. Why don't you just give him a chance? Who knows, he might just surprise you."

Rolling her eyes, Emma smirked. "That's what I'm afraid of. Thanks, Ruby. But right now I'd really just like to be alone. Besides," she glanced down at her watch before continuing, "I think your five minute break was over fifteen minutes ago," the blonde chuckled, causing the brunette to playfully toss the armchair pillow at her, Emma squealing in surprise, putting her arms in front of her face to shield her body. Ruby never ceased to make her smile. (Thank god for best friends)

Their laughter mixed before they exchanged smiles once more and Ruby left the office, the space inside the four walls growing eerily quiet once again, dragging Emma back down to the harsh reality that was her life.

It definitely sucked to be her right now.

* * *

The silence was deafening.

Emma rubbed her tired eyes, as she lifted her head from its place on her desk (a piece of paper sticking to her face in the process, which she promptly peeled off), stifling a yawn and raising her arms high above her head to stretch her fatigued limbs. Slumping down in the chair, she glanced up at the clock that hung on her office wall – 1:15 AM.

_Whoa, how the hell did that happen?_ Emma asked herself, still confused from the fog of sleep that was still trying to pull her back under. The last thing she remembered was saying goodnight to David and telling him that she'd finish up the books and lock up – obviously that didn't happen.

Pushing herself up from the desk, Emma sleepily yawned once more before grabbing her purse and locking up the office, flicking the light switch off on the way out. As she walked towards the exit, she noticed how eerily quiet the bar was empty – no bustling, drunken brawls, or floozy girls. It was nice and intimate, and she almost talked herself into taking a nightcap before heading home (glancing at her watch, she quickly changed her mind).

When her hand settled on the doorknob, she noted how eerily cold it was and, upon turning it and opening the door, she realized something else, her gut dropping in the process, a thousand thoughts racing through her tired mind.

She was snowed in.

Alone. In the middle of the night.

"Of course," she muttered to herself, sighing in frustration as she glanced out the window to see the white snow piled several feet outside, giving her the immediate impression that she was most definitely going to be stuck here awhile. Emma slammed the door shut – the force strong enough to rattle the frosty windows.

Honestly, what else did she need to make her life worse?

"Is there a problem, love?"

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Emma winced, her teeth gritting together as she heard the smooth accent from behind her, her fists tightening almost painfully against her thighs. Taking a deep breath, she spun around to face him. She was immediately hit with the intensity of his blue eyes as they shined in the dim bar; he held a clipboard securely to his cerulean plaid covered chest, brows furrowed in confusion.

"What are _you_ still doing here?" she almost angrily spat, hands immediately going to settle on her slender hips.

Killian finally seemed to break their eye contact, clamping his mouth shut (he had been absolutely stunned to see her), shifting his weight nervously and glancing anywhere around the room instead of her direction. Using his free hand, he uneasily scratched behind his ears – a sure sigh that he was uncomfortable. "I was taking inventory in the back. I honestly didn't know that you were still here, Swan."

"Well it looks like we're stuck here for the night," she informed him, pointing behind her to the window, outside the snow packed high. "Snowed in. Won't be till early morning before the plows come through."

"Oh," he simply stated, obviously going through all of the options in his mind. But before he could speak again, she sensed his uncertainty and decided to set the rules.

"Look, I don't really want to talk about any of this. Just keep to yourself for the night and we'll both make it out of here in one piece." Emma breezed past him, making her way behind the bar to pour herself a glass, perching herself on the stool, the alcohol burning her throat and tingling her insides (just what she needed to relax – her body completely uptight in his presence).

When she set her glass down, she heard the scuffle of the stool beside her, the heat radiating off of his warm body (which was way too close for her current liking) as he sat down beside her and poured himself a drink. Luckily for him, he had learned to keep his tongue to himself, respecting her wishes of not talking.

The pair sat in an oddly comfortable silence – Emma glancing every once in a while in his direction (because, god, the guy had never been this quiet in all the months she had known him) only to catch him intensely watching her, lifting the glass to his lips, obscenely making a show of it as he swallowed loudly and sinfully run his tongue across his bottom lip.

(She remembered the way his skilled tongue had felt inside her mouth, exploring and remembering every inch, his hands hot against the warm flesh of her skin, her dress bunched up around her waist as he intently rocked against her.)

Shaking away her thoughts, Emma opened her mouth to speak, or more likely to make a smart remark, when they were plunged into total darkness, the humming of the electricity dying down as they sat inside the unlit bar.

"Perfect," she mumbled to herself, knowing that now they were not only stuck here alone together, but that there was no chance for electricity in the cold, bitter hours of the morning.

Hearing the scuffling of the stool once more, she turned to Killian to barely see him getting up and heading towards the back room. "It's going to get cold tonight, Swan," he called out over his shoulder to her. "I'll start the fire in the back room. Grab some blankets from the supply room."

Wordlessly, and surprisingly, Emma did as instructed, grabbing a few worn blankets from the closet and heading to the back room. The room was small, consisting of a tiny, private table with two chairs, an old, ratty pool table that was probably missing a few balls, and the dusty fireplace that was hardly used, even in the cold New York winters. Killian had already managed to kindle the fire, warmth already roaring to life and lighting the dim space.

She probably shouldn't have, but since he had not yet noticed her entering the room, Emma took the time to appreciate the view. Killian was bent over the fire in earnest work, shifting the logs around to make the flames grow. The back of his plaid shirt riding up, showing the patch of skin on his lower back, his jeans fitting tightly against his legs. Watching him, Emma felt her heart squeeze and ache in that moment.

"See something you like, love?" he teased in hopes of riling her up – back still to her, raising an eyebrow high.

"What did I say about not talking?" she mumbled, rolling her eyes and dipping her head so that he couldn't make out the blush creeping it's way up her cheeks in the dim room.

He chuckled deeply, standing up and dusting off his jeans, his heart skipping a few beats at the mere sight of her – the way the orange glow of the fire illuminated her soft skin, her golden tresses flowing freely across her shoulders. "All I'm saying, Swan, is that it's not a sin to appreciate the view."

"Oh my god," she angrily growled, pushing off of the doorframe, taking a few short strides to close the distance between them. Emma stopped just short of him, leaving less than a foot between their bodies (she'd later blame it on poor lighting) "Do you ever shut up?"

"Ah, couldn't stay away from me, could you?" he playfully teased at their close proximity, pulling on a blonde curl mischievously before brushing it over her shoulder.

Crossing her arms in haste, her blood already starting to boil, she sneered. "See, this is why I hate you."

Even though he knew that she didn't completely _hate_ him, his face (and heart) fell at the words, blue eyes loosing their intensity. Taking a step back, he felt his own blood start to boil. He angrily clenched his fists, biting the inside of his cheek in fury. Normally he could handle her banter, but in light of recent revelations, he had had enough. Most times, he would just push her back, waiting for the moment that she would finally erupt. This time, though, he exploded. "What is it, Emma? What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much?"

"Oh, you want to know why I hate you so much? Where do I even start, Killian?" she yelled, throwing her arms up in frustration. "I hate that smug look you had the second you walked in for the interview. I hate that you've had that same look ever since. The way that you flirt with _every single_ woman customer and then they fall all over you. You know just which of my buttons to push and I'm tired of it."

Emma paused, a finger poked into his firm chest in defiance, taking a short breath before closing the distance between them again and continuing – this time in a much softer tone. She gazed up at his through hooded eyes, her heart beating loudly in her chest.

"I hate your cocky attitude because you _know_ how handsome you are with those blue eyes and messy hair. I hate that I am an open book to you, that I can't keep my feelings a secret because you can read me better than anyone ever has. I hate the way you make me feel – vulnerability is something I'm not used to and it never has set well with me."

Killian's expression softened, making using of the opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. He felt her shudder in his arms, warmth encircling them. When their eyes finally met, she smiled and reached up to run her thumb over one of his dimples, relishing in the moment. Their moment.

"But most of all," she whispered as she delicately tugged on his collar, pulling him even closer as their foreheads rested against each other, their hearts beating together in the silent room, electric energy swirling around them, "I hate the fact that I don't hate you anymore. Not one bit."

And for the second time that week, their lips met.

Fingers wrapping tightly around the back of her neck, his lips crashed onto hers – a desperate and needy attempt to bring her closer, drag her under, his spell hypnotizing her and sending her into a frenzy. Emma responded fervently and without hesitation, kissing him back with all the force she had inside (using her hate for fuel, it soon changing to lust and then passion as their lips slid against each other – a confusion tangle of limbs and emotions encompassing them) fingers gliding through thick, dark locks of his hair, nails against his scalp, sending a shiver through his warm body.

"Emma," he growled against her lips– almost cautiously, worried about what had happened the last time he had said her name in this situation. But when she ran her tongue along his lips, Killian knew that this time, it wasn't a dream. This time, she wasn't going to run away.

Lips moving to her collarbone (skin salty and sweaty and _her_ – the taste sweet on his mouth. He wanted to consume her completely, taste her on his lips forever), he took the opportunity to finger the hem of her shirt, sliding his hand under her sweater to meet warm skin, sensations tingling within.

She hadn't realized that they had been moving until her back hit the pool table, a sharp pain shooting through her body at the rough contact – soon blossoming into pleasure as his fingers ran along the underside of her breast, cupping her through her bra. Breaking their kiss, she reached down to the bottom of her sweater and within seconds she had thrown it across the room, connecting their lips once again with a groan.

Reaching behind her, Killian expertly unhooked her lacy bra, slowly sliding the straps off of her shoulders before flinging it elsewhere as well, leaving kiss marks along her neck and wherever his fingers had previously been. With her head tilted back in pleasure he used the opportunity to lift her up, sitting her on the pool table and wedging a knee between her jean clad legs, stepping between and settling gently against her core – her breath coming out in pants now as his fingers worked over her rounded flesh, lips taking over the tightening pink bud.

With his mouth giving the all of its attention to her breasts, she took the moment to hastily work on ridding him of his blue plaid shirt, cursing under her breath as she nervously fumbled with the buttons – finally finished and making contact with his skin, fingernails scraping over well-toned muscles as the material was discarded.

When she reached down to his belt buckle, fingers hastily trying to undo it, he quickly placed his hand over hers to stop her – his mouth abandoning her breast with a wet _plop_ – to pull back and look at her (emerald meeting blue, breath mixing in awe).

"Swan," he gasped shortly, fingers interlacing perfectly, "if we do this, things are going to change. Are you sure you want this?"

"I'm sure," she quickly replied, hand swiftly maneuvering to cup him through his strained jeans, Killian unmistakably sighing in response.

When he noticed her haste, he moved his hand from her grasp to gently cup her face, forcing her to stop and focus on him (him and only him – this moment bigger than the two of them, as two hearts beat steadily, his almost assuredly saying _Em-ma, Em-ma, Em-ma_)

"Emma, slow down" Killian urged, his fingers stroking her face in adoration, the intensity of his love shining in his eyes and boring into her soul. "Love, I want you to know that this is more than just sex to me. If we continue, I plan to take my time with you, worship, ravish, and completely wreck you, because it's so much more than that to me. I want you to go in to this full well knowing that I intend on making love to you. It's as simple as that. Because, my love, I have known since the moment I laid eyes on you that I had been ruined for anyone else. You're it, princess."

Smiling against his skin, Emma didn't take long to weigh the options. He was here and he didn't plan on leaving her. For once, the risk felt worth it all. She was finally ready for the freefall (to consume and be consumed, to love wholeheartedly without restraint, to let him know her heart is _his_). Pressing a chaste kiss against his lips, she whispered against him, "Take me, pirate."

Brilliant smile erupting, Killian picked her up, her legs instantly going to wrap around his waist as he carried her to the blanket that had been laid out in front of the fireplace (their bodies already on fire from the physical contact – his chest hair tickling against her bare breast as he moved with her). Gently, he laid Emma down on the floor, settling himself above her before diving back in to connect their lips.

She reached for the belt buckle once again, this time he didn't stop her, skillfully undoing the buckle and button in fluid motions before using her feet to slide the pants down his legs, with him kicking them off as best he could through their kiss. He growled when she palmed his straining erection once more through his boxers before she fingered the elastic waistband, her full intention on dipping to feel what was under – him hot and heavy and _hard_ against her thigh.

"Not yet, Swan," he panted against her mouth before grabbing the hand on his body and placing it above her head – far away from where he so desperately ached for her. "I want to take care of you first. After all, I am a gentleman."

Emma rolled her eyes with a chuckle, it quickly turning into a moan as his mouth moved back to her breast (nipping and sucking and licking and _god, she was on fire_). Between the sensations pulsing through her body, she hardly noticed that he had undone her jeans, not knowing or caring where they had landed as he flung them across the room towards the building pile of clothes.

She could feel Killian's smile against her stomach as he hooked his fingers on the sides of her lacy underwear, sliding them slowly down her smooth legs, kissing down her thighs wherever he left a trail – his scruff burning and tickling against her skin before he pressed one more innocent kiss to the underside of her calf – leaving her completely bare before him.

Killian took the moment to pull back from her (to finally gaze down at the golden beauty that had bewitched his body and soul, his heart only beating for her). The fire that was only a few feet away emitted a beautiful orange glow on her creamy skin, his fingers going to trace the curves of her body, trying his best to memorize every curve, every dip, every single glorious inch of her.

"Emma," he praised, dipping down to slide his sweaty forehead against hers, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth, hands going to her golden locks once more, Emma's lips tilting up in a smirk. "You are a vision, love."

As she pushed the last remaining article of clothing between them – his boxers – down his legs, she freed his straining member, quickly wrapping her fingers around him and pumping twice. "You're not so bad yourself, Jones."

Sliding her lips against his to muffle his moan, Killian quickly grabbed her wrist to stop her, her motions against his erection ceasing, "If you keep doing that, lass, I won't last long."

She giggled (Emma, the girl with the high walls and relationship issues, actually freaking giggled) biting her bottom lip seductively when she felt his fingers finally meeting warm skin below, circling her bundle of nerves before dipping two fingers into hot, wet flesh.

"Not this time, Killian," she panted as he continued pumping his digits inside of her, her chest rising and falling in sync with his movements, this time her stopping his motions (his eyebrows raising high in hopes – in promise – of a second chance, that this was not merely a one time thing, praying that it was not just her lust hazed mind speaking). "Right now, I need you inside of me."

"Well I'm not one to deny a lady," Killian smirked, before positioning himself above her and sliding in with one quick thrust, (her body tight with want and desire: all for him; it had been awhile since she had felt this full, _so very full_), their matching moans intermixing, giving her only a precious second to adjust before he set a slow and steady rhythm, pouring his emotions into his movements – trying to convey just how much he truly cared for her – his hands settling on her narrow hipbones.

"Oh, God," she keened, arching her back, fingers grasping at the blanket below them, and wrapping her long legs around him in hopes of pulling him closer.

He chuckled – deep and husky – pushing the bangs out of her eyes before kissing her lips, his hips slowly circling hers. "No, love. It's Killian."

Nipping at his bottom lip in protest, nails against skin and scalp and _him_, she growled, "Shut up and move."

Killian only responded by thrusting back into her slowly and then proceeding to pull almost completely out before pushing back in again, the sensations overwhelming, both bodies humming in complete satisfaction as he drove them towards oblivion. Reaching down, in hopes of her finding pleasure before him, his fingers found where they were joined, thumbing at her until she could no longer remember her own name (unfocused and panting against him, writhing below his body).

"Killian, I-" she gasped below him as he drove into her faster, stars forming in her eyes and vision blurry as he helped guide her towards that edge. Sweaty skin slapping and incessant moans the only sounds echoing in the room as the fire next to them burned as wildly as their insides.

Covering his mouth with hers (the sensations almost even too much for him because it was _her_ and he had waited too long for this moment, to have her so gloriously splayed beneath him, her curls forming around her like a golden halo and _god, he loved this woman_), Killian whispered lovingly against her lips as he continued his actions, "Come for me, Emma."

Pushing up to meet his hips one last time, Emma fell apart below him, tumbling over that glorious edge, head falling back in a silent gasp, his name on her lips as he helped her ride it out. Killian, desperate for release, pumped into her once, twice, before he found that edge too, warmth blossoming between their thighs as he emptied into her.

Collapsing down onto Emma, careful not to crush her, Killian pressed a kiss to her shoulder, her nose, and then finally to her lips – short, sweet, and innocent, her blushing (which was kind of ridiculous considering what they had just done) as the two caught their breath.

"So that's what I've been missing," Emma beamed in pure bliss, a short groan escaping her mouth as he pulled out of her, this empty feeling something she was not accustomed to.

The cocky smirk (the one she had so desperately hated once) formed on his face, an obvious ego boost from her with the compliment. "Can't say it was for lack of effort, Swan."

She hummed in response as he pulled her closer. They were nothing more than a mere tangle of sweaty limbs on the blanket in front of the fireplace, the bar quiet around them as the snow continued to fall outside and the busy traffic continued in the streets. But they didn't care about the world around them. No, all they cared about at the moment was the way they felt wrapped in each other's arms in pure contentment. Never wanting this moment to end.

Nudging his knee between her legs, his arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer into his side, her head finding the sweet spot between his neck and chest to relax – where she placed a kiss to his sweaty skin - limbs completely sated.

"So," Emma began as she traced his well-toned muscles (how did he even have the time to work out that much?) "What now?" She propped her chin on his chest to finally connect their eyes – a swirl of blue and green and with such intensity that had her stomach twisting in knots. Because even though neither had said those three little words, they now both knew how they truly felt. They had been completely ruined for anyone else again.

"Don't worry about that, love," he reassured, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead – fingers tangling in hair - before dragging her down for their lips to meet once more, somehow managing to pull her even closer. "We've got all night."


	7. Chapter 7

Time seemed to pass slowly. Minutes felt like hours as they lay tangled and naked together under the blanket in the dark back room of the bar, only lit by the flames of the glowing fire, but neither were complaining. They were too content, too giddy, _too happy_ to protest. Emma swore that she felt like a teenager: smiling and giggling and completely lovestruck to think about how ridiculous they probably looked at the moment.

Emma shivered as she felt his hand tracing her spine, up and down until he dipped low towards dangerous territory, heat shooting straight to core again as his fingers expertly worked over her flesh. She sighed in satisfaction – never in a million years would she have thought she would be this happy with Killian. But she was – is – and her fingers wove through his dark chest hair before wrapping around him to show that she wasn't planning on going anywhere either.

Running his other hand through her golden curls, which had been matted to her sweaty forehead from their previous enjoyable activities, he pressed his lips to hers without restraint – fully relishing in the fact that he could now do this whenever he pleased without backlash. The lights in the bar flickered back on but the pair seemed too wrapped up in each other to notice. She slanted her lips against his, opening up to him as his tongue tangled with hers, moaning against him as she felt his hands move to her waist, dragging her on top of him. Emma's legs fell along his sides, straddling him; she felt him stir beneath her as she ground her hips down into his.

"You know what sounds really good right now?" she whispered seductively in his ear, her teeth playfully tugging on his earlobe, a groan escaping from his mouth.

"Round two?" Killian suggested as his warm hand reached her breast, kneading and tugging at the flesh. She chuckled against his skin, connecting their lips once again.

She finally pulled back with a flirtatious grin, bumping her nose to his. "No. Hot chocolate."

"Bloody minx," Killian growled as he swiftly flipped her over before she could even blink, his heavy form now hovering over hers, strong arms holding him up to not crush her. He dipped his head to pepper sweet kisses along her neck and jaw line.

Panting against him, Emma placed her hands to his chest, nails scraping against skin. The pleasurable sensations flooding her body were electric and she almost had to force herself to stop him. "Cocoa first, sex later. I have some of the cheap kind stashed in my desk drawer."

Groaning, Killian rolled off of her, hands blindly reaching for his boxers before grabbing the fabric and lifting himself up. Emma blushed as she studied his form, boldly standing naked, his well-toned body flexing as he pulled the boxers on. When his eyes made contact with Emma's, he smirked, bending down to place one last kiss to her lips.

"I'll be back," Killian whispered, his breath hot along her skin, before pulling away and walking across the room. "Don't miss me too much," he cockily called back over his shoulder with a wink.

Emma gave an unladylike snort, her eyes never leaving him as he disappeared around the corner. Grabbing the blankets, Emma wrapped them around her naked body, trailing across the room to pick up her clothes, confusion etched across her face as she searched for her garments (she found a piece on the other side of the pool table; _how the heck did her bra get all the way over here?)._

She smiled, clutching the item to her chest, as she remembered the way his fingers had trailed her shoulder, pulling the straps down slowly, his touch leaving a fiery trail in their wake. Her head began to spin, dizzying from her want – no, her pure _need_ – for him again. To have him inside her, moving within, arms lovingly cradling her while he whispered sweet nothings into her skin (as if each word was a secret meant only for her).

Butterflies danced in her stomach and she felt heat coil low in her belly, clearly aroused just thinking of how amazing he had been with her. The tenderness and passion astounded her and she began to question why she had waited so long to finally give in.

"Love, what's this?"

The smile from her face faded as she turned to face him; Emma could feel the color drain from her face, her eyes immediately locking on the picture he was desperately clutching, crumpling slightly in his firm grasp. And that's when it hit her.

The picture of Neal was in the same drawer as her hot chocolate stash.

Avoiding his gaze, she absentmindedly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, the other hand holding the blankets firmly around her chest, a chill running through her exposed skin. "It's nothing, Killian," she lied hastily, walking across the room in a few short strides to snatch the picture from his hands.

"Bloody hell, Swan. It's definitely more than nothing. You were hiding it in your desk drawer."

"I just…" she trailed off, her eyes finally finding his – the intensity and sorrow in them surprised her. He was clearly hurt, not by her being with another man, but from her pain, her secrets, her past. It was something he identified with. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she spoke softly, "It was a long time ago."

The ends of Killian's lips tipped up in a sympathetic smile. His hands reached up to cup her face – the tears already stinging on the surface – and she instantly leaned into his touch. "Tell me about it. I want to know about every part of you, Emma. Even the painful ones."

She smiled when he sat down at the table, pulling her into his lap, intertwining their fingers as she spoke in a hushed tone. "He's the reason I have such a hard time giving in to you, the reason that I don't trust anymore."

Smoothing his fingers over her cheeks, Killian nodded for her to continue.

"His name was Neal. We dated in college. It was…" she paused, biting on her bottom lip as she pondered, his hand stroking her blonde curls. "It was pretty serious actually. We were young and…I thought we were in love."

His arms tightened around her waist, nuzzling his nose against hers, his breath a whisper against her creamy skin. "What happened?"

"He cheated on me. I walked in on him with another woman," Emma admitted, choking back the tears that threatened to spill. "I didn't want to believe it even though it was right there in front of me. I felt _so_ _stupid_. I was so naïve that I didn't even realize he had been using me. All the signs were there. I just choose to ignore them because I thought he really loved me." She shrugged her shoulders against him, the frown consuming her beautiful face as the pair sat in comfortable silence, the crackling of the fireplace the only echo in the room.

"Her name was Milah."

Emma's emerald eyes flew open, turning her body to face his in complete shock. She had never known about another woman in Killian's life, or at least one that he had been serious with. Running her finger along his scruffy jaw line, Emma silently urged him to keep going.

"She, um…" He paused, letting out a short huff and scratching nervously behind one ear. "We were together for awhile as well. I actually thought we would end up getting married eventually. That is until I found out she had been married the whole time. And in the end, no matter how much or often she said that she loved me, Milah wouldn't give up her husband for me."

A sobering feeling came over Emma. She had never known this side of Killian and a part of her ached that she had never given him a chance before – always choosing instead to write him off as some womanizing player. He was more real that she had anticipated. And it had never clicked with her until now that Killian was that sweet pirate she fell for online. Two halves of one whole being just scared to come together, to show themselves. They were more alike than she had cared to realize – kindred spirits.

"Sounds like we've both had our fair share of rotten relationships," Emma joked with a sarcastic snort, using her elbow to playfully nudge him in the ribs.

"Not anymore," Killian spoke in a stern tone, his hand in her hair again, letting her know that he was serious. "Emma, I want this to work. So don't run from me – _from us_. Don't be afraid to fall, because when you do, I promise that I'll be there to catch you."

Her forehead slipping to his, she reached up to thumb the tiny dimple in his cheek. Killian could feel her body shaking against his, almost fighting internally to fully let go, to open up to him completely. Emma shifted her weight in his lap until her legs were straddling him in the chair, her breath hot against his mouth as she let out a whisper.

"Okay."

Almost like a slow and sensual dance, mouths consumed each other once more, tongues tangoing, tasting the sweetness of each other. Hands carded through hair, her nails sending chills down his spine as they scratched for any part of him, his chest bare against hers as she abandoned the blanket she had been so desperately holding around herself. He quickly took the opportunity to throw the blanket away, leaving them both naked and needy and desperate as they rocked against each other.

Hands roamed, teeth nipped, low moans, backs arched as they continued their movements. This was slower and sweeter than their previous sexual encounter – which had been rushed and brutal, love now being poured into every action. It wasn't long before they finally came together again, intermixed groans as Emma slid down onto him, him deliciously stretching her within, filling her up.

Chasing their release, their actions became sloppy and erratic as they pushed and pulled against each other, the heat between them almost unbearable as he gave one final thrust up into her, sending them both flying into oblivion – the pleasure consuming and yet not enough, his movements unceasing to help them both ride it out.

Panting, Killian sweetly kissed Emma's lips once more, the sex-haze still hanging overhead as she slid off of him. She smiled at him (a plain smile from her was now enough to do him in) and he smiled back, picking her up bridal style and carrying her back to the floor in front of the fireplace, hot chocolate long forgotten.

Killian pulled the blanket over them as they lay together on the floor, him spooning her from behind as he nudged his leg between hers. Just being together like this – the simple act of laying together – filled their hearts to the brim, overflowing and bubbling with pure happiness, both of them now knowing that they never wanted to spend another night apart.

Who knew one night could change so much.

* * *

(Ruby was ecstatic when she heard the news, and David…well, let's just say he was somewhat pleased – and gave Killian a silent look that said _if you hurt her I'll kill you_.

The couple was too wrapped up in each other, the gazes and touches never seemed to stop now, to see David pass Ruby some money – a secret bet as to how long it took before the two ended up together. Ruby won.)

* * *

They only lasted two weeks before their first real fight.

And honestly, neither remembered how it had started. It had been over something so simple and stupid that neither of them could even remember how it exactly began. One minute they were teasing and the next there were angry shouts, loud enough to alert the neighbors of their clash.

The door slammed shut behind Killian as he exited Emma's apartment. Her red-rimmed eyes never moved from the door as her face became flush, the tears still a faint stain on her porcelain skin, at the realization that he had actually left. It had been stupid and now he was gone.

She was angry at him for leaving, angry at them for fighting, angry at herself for making him leave. It had only been two weeks. They couldn't even last a few weeks of bliss before they clashed. Running a shaky hand through her hair, her throat raw and sore from their screaming match, she contemplated why she ever thought this would work out between them. There was too much previous hate for them to make a serious relationship work. The only thing that they both agreed on that constantly worked was the sex – but even that wasn't enough.

He was constantly pushing her for more – and the abandoned and frightened teenage girl inside of her was still scared. Scared to open her heart, afraid of commitment, of hearing those _three little words_. Neither had said it, but Emma knew that Killian was definitely closer to uttering the phrase than she was. No, she wasn't ready for this. Emma didn't even know why she had bothered in the first place.

The bed was cold without him next to her, the way his warm arms enveloped her safely, the satin sheets like a thin layer of ice on her. She desperately clutched them as she willed herself to stop crying, to forget it, to forget _him_.

After a few hours, the sobs subsided. Emma felt the bed dip next to her and she didn't even have to turn to know that it was him, the weight of him heavy against her, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her back into his chest. She took the opportunity to let go of her heart and run a cold foot up his leg.

Raking the sweaty curls off her ears, he leaned over and whispered, soft and low – his voice gravely and husky in the middle of the night. "I'm sorry, Swan."

When she didn't immediately respond, he questioned himself, wondering if she had fallen asleep angry with him. But when he heard her whimper, his heart squeezed at the pain he could hear in her voice – the pain he had caused her. "You left me."

"I know. I shouldn't have. I was just angry, but even that is no excuse. Emma, we are going to fight. It's only natural. But let's promise that when we do, no one leaves until it is resolved. I won't put you through that. You don't deserve that pain again."

Wordlessly, she turned in his arms to face him, a half smiled managed on her face. Emma reached up to trace his jaw with a sigh, the stubble prickling her skin. "I'm sorry too. For being stubborn and not trusting you. I just have trouble letting people in."

She buried her face into the crook of his neck, placing kisses against his salty skin, his chin resting delicately on top her head, his hand continuously smoothing out her blonde locks as the moon shining through the window illuminated them like a halo around her.

"Emma, you have reason to be so guarded. Your heart is a precious thing. But if you give it to me, I promise that no harm will be done to it. I will handle it with the greatest of care; give it the love and proper attention that it deserves – that _you_ deserve."

Untangling his hand from her hair, she grabbed it, guiding it to lay his palm flat against his chest (rising and falling in sync with his) her heart beating steadily beneath. "It's already yours."

* * *

It was three months before he saw her cry.

(Really cry, that is. Not just a few stray tears or an angry sob after an argument. A cry of sadness and pain – of hurt.)

"Swan?" Killian's voice called out into his seemingly empty apartment, it echoing against the vacant walls, but with the front door still unlocked, he knew she wasn't far. He found her curled in his bed, the satin sheets clutched tightly in her fist – knuckles almost turning white and face red - (inhaling the scent of him, longing to be closer to the only one she knew could heal her breaking heart)

Bending to her level, he softly brushed her hair back, his own heart breaking to see her in such pain. And although he knew what was wrong – she was always an open book to him, even before they dated, but especially now that they were always together – he felt the need to ask her anyway.

"What's wrong, love?"

Emma sniffled, wiping the tears away as best possible, his arms coming around her to help her sit up, her legs dangling off the side of the bed. He came to crouch between her thighs, his hands lovingly cradling her face. Trying her best to avoid his gaze, she spoke softly, shrugging her shoulders. "It's nothing, Killian. It's silly."

He frowned at her stubbornness, something he should have been used to by now. "Lass, if it's hurting you this much, obviously something isn't right."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she nervously bit her bottom lip, knowing it was probably absurd to be this troubled over such a minute thing. "Victor proposed to Ruby."

Killian sighed, lifting her chin so emerald and blue eyes locked. He knew it was going to come to this. Better yet, he knew what was truly bothering her about the situation. Emma wasn't one to obsess over weddings or marriages. And she was really happy for her best friend. But Killian could see through it all to the root of the problem– open book and all.

"She's going to kick me out," Emma murmured, kicking her bare feet lightly against the cold wooden floor as she twisted her fingers together. She was worried about being left alone. After all this time, she was being forgotten once again.

"No she's not, Swan. She would never do that to you," he spoke with an exasperated sigh before continuing, "Besides, Ruby already discussed it with me."

That got her attention – heading shooting up, blonde curls flying, emerald eyes wide as her brow scrunched in confusion, finally making eye contact with Killian. "What?"

"She was worried about you. She wanted to make sure you were alright." Killian took one of her shaky hands in his, pressing a gentle kiss to her palm before removing himself from between her legs to open the nightstand, muttering under his breath and fiddling around to find what he was looking for. "I was going to give this to you next week on your birthday, but I feel like you could use it now."

Killian placed the tiny black box in Emma's hands, her mouth dropping in confusion.

"Don't worry. It's not an engagement ring," Killian smirked, knowing his Swan so well as she mirrored his grin.

Thumbing at the velvet box, she gently lifted the lid with nervous hands, the shiny metal object illuminating inside. "A key? I already have a key to your place."

"I know. But you don't have what's under it."

Emma fingered the piece of paper, it folded up neatly to fit under the key. She squinted at him in suspicion before slowly unfolding it, her heart stopped as the words began to appear. Emma couldn't help the way her jaw had dropped lifelessly, the color almost draining from her already pale face. "Your lease? Killian…"

"Move in with me," he quickly declared, taking both of her hands in his, silence encompassing the room as eye contact never broke between them. "I was going to ask you anyways. But with you now looking for a new place, I figured this would make things easier."

Emma felt something shift in her, something she had not felt in quite awhile – the need to run. Whenever things started to get serious in a relationship, Emma always took it as her cue to run like hell. There was uncertainty in her voice as she searched deep within. This was Killian though, and she lov- (_no, she mentally corrected herself_) she had deep feelings for him (she wouldn't dare herself to say it was love yet)."Killian, I-"

"Emma, don't run from me – from this," he interrupted, drawing her up into his arms and off her place on his bed, his hands firmly gripped around her waist, foreheads bumping as his voice dropped. "Don't come up with excuses. Because, darling, you have none."

Connecting their lips on instinct, relief flooded Emma's body, her lips slowly sliding against his. She did love this man. And although she couldn't tell him those words yet, Emma knew that had been given an opportunity to show him every day. Move in with him, make love with him, share their lives together until she was ready to let all of her heart go. Little by little, he was breaking down her walls, and with each brick that had fallen, she handed him another piece.

Finally pulling back, Emma smiled, placing one last kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Okay. I'll move in with you."

In pure delight, Killian picked up Emma up by her waist, spinning her around in a joyous state. Giggling like a teenager, Emma had never had her heart fill this full. This man – Killian – was someone she had once loathed so much. Pure hate and disgust ruled her life until she met him. But surprisingly, he had broken her free, helped her to open up, and earned her trust (something that was not an easy feat).

As he sat her back down, bare feet hitting the floor, Killian noticed her laughter and obvious mood change from the sobs only moments ago. "What is it, love?"

Her lips tilted up in a smile (a true and rare Emma Swan smile). Her hands slid comfortably around the back of his neck, her fingers playing with the dark locks of his hair. "Who would have ever thought that we would have ended up together?"

Killian chuckled, his own arms staying content around her waist, only pulling her closer so that their hips collided (always a perfect fit). "It is quite the story – the pirate and the princess falling for each other."

"Yes," Emma replied, before inching her lips closer to his. "But it's our story."

It may have been an odd tale – a pirate and a princess, a bartender and a boss – ultimately falling in love. Both Emma and Killian would admit that it wasn't love at first sight – they weren't _instantly in love_. But it was their tale. And they wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has followed this story and reviewed. Your kind words have meant the world to me. I hope that you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you're interested in more of my work or have a prompt for me, be sure to check out my Tumblr (link in my profile). I'm always looking for new ideas (especially AUs). Thanks again! :)**


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